Fallen Star
by Solaris8
Summary: Lani has returned and yet again her life is turned upside down. Not only does she return as a werewolf, but she imprinted on an enemy. Everyone, especially Jasper, tries to help her, while the pack finds her to be a liability. Later Volturi abduct her and another rule is broken. Will she ever feel loved or is death all that awaits her?
1. Phase 1

First Twilight Fanfiction.

* * *

><p>La Push…I wish I could say I was happy to be back. If I think about it I think it would be awesome to say anything at all at this point. In all honesty, though, I don't know why I'm here. I try to contemplate it as I cross the street. As I walk I wonder about the number counting down how much time I have left to cross the street. If I lay down right now what would happen? Would anything happen? Would I be gone from this world or would I miraculously survive?<p>

I see people stop walking as they turn and look back in terror. I turn to my right to see what they're staring at, but there's nothing out of the ordinary. I look at them confused until one points to my left. I look and see this huge red Jeep Wrangler just 2 inches away from my body. I gawk at the hood and realize that if only I had been paying attention to the street and not the bloody numbers than I would have seen this car coming.

I look at the driver who just got out and slammed his door shut. I still see the vibrations on the hood of the car. Amazing how I understand how those vibrations feel. How it feels to be shaken out of what you know only to disappear and keep waiting for the next wave to hit, little did I know that the next wave would happen in the next few minutes. I look sadly as the vibrations end, what would happen next?

I look at the passenger of the car as he comes out. He looks at me bewildered and a little cautious. He has golden honey blond hair and is lean, but I know that if he were to strip those layers of clothes I would find muscles instead of just bones. I could make out some scars on his jaw and couldn't help but stare at them for a few minutes. I smile at him as I realize that I'm staring and doing it publicly. I bow my head a bit as I turn to look at the driver.

Time stopped as I knew it when I met this one's golden eyes. My breath is literally knocked out of me as I stare in his eyes. He's yelling at me, but I don't pay attention. I start to breath but it's labored and he stops talking looking at me with worry. All I want is to be wrapped up in those muscular arms. To be close to his body and remain molded to it. To be there for him, every minute of every hour. To provide for him whatever he needs. He steps closer to me and reaches out to touch my sleeve covered arm. Why did I wear sleeves today? It's not like I'm cold.

"Hello? Are you okay?" He says as he looks at me, the worry never leaving his face. My breath hitches at the thought that he's worried about _me_. He glances at the passenger and shrugs his shoulders as if to say 'what should I do?'

I smile, trying to breathe at the same time and nod at him. I have to get out of here. I put my hands up signifying that I'm okay. I turn back around and try to casually walk away, but I can't help sprinting. I need air; I'm outside and there is still not enough air for me to breath. I wonder if it could be due to all the pollution. Maybe I'm more observant of the air now that I'm out of it. Worry fills me as I think of if there will be any air left for our children's children, however, even these thoughts can't push out the face that is crowding my mind. No guy should be able to look that hot. Isn't it illegal? If not now it should be. Maybe I can right President Obama and have him ban hotness. I start to laugh at my harebrained thoughts, but in all reality is it that really impossible? Especially considering what's transpired in the last few months.

I enter the forest that leads to the Rez and slow down my sprinting. All I can see is his face as I walk through the woods I use to play in as a child. My mood shifts as the memories come to me but then his face comes to my mind and I can't help smiling. Why ruin an awesome moment with things of the past? I stare at the beach as I come out of the clearing and notice a group standing by the water. As I continue walking their shapes become more familiar, at least some of their shapes do. Once in my life I used to know some of them, but now everything is different. I was shaken out of their world and tossed into another one. How ironic that I've now been shaken back to this place, with its familiarity and yet with its secrets. They look at me cautiously and I notice that amidst the group of guys is one girl. I can't seem to place her as I stare while walking past them. I used to know her too, how sad that you can know somebody at one time in life and then within an instant…poof…it's as if you never knew them at all. This is what I call the disappearance phase after the vibration.

I feel their eyes on my back as I continue walking. Even after all this time I remember the way to his house. You would think that I would forget or chose to forget, but it's like gravity. His house is the magnet and my feet automatically gravitate toward it. I don't even know what he'll say, if anything, when he sees me. It's been years since I've been here. Somehow everything is the same, yet everything is different. I wonder if that makes me an oxymoron. Yes but no; same but different. Can that really happen?

I feel them following me but pretend that I'm too absorbed in my thoughts to notice them behind the trees. There it is; the home and the hell that's haunted me. I turn around suddenly. Maybe this wasn't the smartest idea. Stupid big feet; why did you have to bring me here? Out of all the places in the world, this is where I end up. As if by force my body turns back around and my stubborn huge feet continue forward to the door. What's even worse is that now my hand seems to be under their control and knocks on the door.

"Lani!" Billy says looking at me in disbelief. "Come in. How are you? Are you okay?"

I stand still in my spot until someone pushes past me and pushes him away while another guy steps in front of me. I look at them in disbelief and realize that I'm shaking. I look around and see that the same group from the beach is surrounding me, some are starting to shake.

"Lani?" Leah says as she looks at me. "Oh my god." This seems to be all that she is capable of saying at this moment in time.

The tension is so thick that I almost believe tension is a living breathing thing. The goose-bumps start to dissipate as I try to breath. Thankfully, his face comes back into my mind and I smile, instead of combusting into a large big fur ball. I pull out a pad of paper from my bum jean pocket and take the pencil from my ear as I start to scribble. I hand it to the one directly in front of me who is staring at me fiercely.

Lani: (written note says)  
>What are we?<p>

He looks at me and then gives the paper to another guy. The guy reads it aloud. Billy pushes the two guys out of the way with his wheelchair.

"Lani, you're..." He begins to ask and I nod in acquiescence.

"When?" He asks making sure that I understand.

I start to sign but realize that none of them know sign language. I hold my hand out for the pad of paper and the guy gives it back to me. I scribble down the date. It's not a day I can easily forget.

Lani:  
>5 June 2006.<p>

"Where were you?" Billy asks.

"Does anyone know?" One of the guys in front of me asks angrily.

"Paul! Calm down!" The other one says holding his hand to Paul's chest.

I take the pad back and write. I smirk darkly and turn the paper over to continue writing.

Lani:  
>Seattle. I'm surprised you didn't hear the news about the combustible girl on channel 7. -<p>

Billy looks at me with raised eyebrows while Paul transforms into a wolf. Two other guys from behind me come in front of me facing Paul.

"Get him out of here!" The other guy tells them.

"Wait." Billy says as he turns the paper around.

Lani:  
>(Back of paper) Of course no one knows.<br>What would I tell them?  
>Oh, hi, I'm here for my flea shot because I'm really a wolf trapped inside this body?<p>

They all looked at me and I notice the youngest of them start laughing.

"That's a good one." He says awarding him a death glare from the guy in front of me.

"This is Sam, Lani. He's the leader of the pack." Billy says slowly as I read his lips. "Sam, this is my niece Lani. That's Seth and Leah, over there is Jared and Quil, the wolf is Paul, and that one is Embry." Billy says as he points them out.

Sam nods toward me while sizing me up. I realize that I really don't like this guy.

"I'm glad you came." Billy says with a look of sincerity on his face when my eyes fall back on him.

To say it wasn't awkward would be a lie. I didn't want to go in his house and everyone didn't know why we were still standing outside.

"What happened?" Billy asked after a while.


	2. Phase 2

"What happened?" Billy asked after a while.

This is uncharted territory for me. Billy starts to back his chair up so that we can go inside however this is as far as my feet are allowing me to go. I can't get sucked into the past. I can't allow myself to let my guard down. I look at Billy and he knows that I won't come in. A flash of despair, regret, and guilt cloud his face and he nods solemnly.

"Whenever you're ready, I'm here."

I stand there sensing Sam's eyes on me. I'm not looking at anyone or anything in particular. It's as if I've become molded to the porch. After what feels to me as hours I write a note and give it to Billy.

Lani:  
>Why did this happen?<p>

"It's a long legend, why not come back tonight for a pack meeting?" Billy asked. "Please, Lani, let me help you like I couldn't before." Bill searched my cold gaze looking for a hint to what I was thinking. "If it happened to you in Seattle that means you were probably near where the vampire army was."

That got me. I couldn't help drop my chin a bit. I heaved a heavy sigh. If I wanted to get any information it would be on his terms and I thoroughly hated to be on anyone's terms.

Lani:  
>Fine; I'll come back at sundown.<p>

SEATTLE

I arrived back in Seattle. I stared at the letter from The Art Institute of Seattle that looked so awkward next to the pieces of garbage that is always received in the mail. I didn't have to open it to know that I had been flunked out of last semester's classes, due to my transformation. I looked around the dorm and heaved a sigh. After all my hard work it's all come to nothing...like me. I grabbed my army duffel and packed it with all my clothes and put all my art books and portfolio in my shoulder bag. Removing the loose floorboard I snatched up the money I hid there that I had been saving since I was eight I made my way to the admissions office and completed all the paperwork that I had to sign off on in order to acknowledge that I was no longer a student here.

Shit! I'm back!

I arrived back in Forks just before the sun went down. Except this time I knew exactly why my feet brought me here. I needed answers as to what had occurred and that meant playing by Uncle Billy's rules. Plus, I felt a deep connection to the unidentified man who almost turned me into road kill. No matter what I did or do to occupy my mind his face would always flash before me. I made my way to La Push and looked around.

Making my way up to the house I took the sign from the lawn and knocked on the door. A kid opened it and I glared at him holding up the sign. He shut the door in my face and I just stood there waiting. The door opened again but it seemed to be the boy's father.

"It's kind of late isn't it?"

I looked back behind me as the sun began to settle. As I turned back to look at the guy I shrugged. I took out my pen and wrote on the back of the sign.

Lani:  
>I'm interested in the studio for rent. How much is it?<p>

"My family and I are having dinner right now. If you're interested please come back tomorrow." He was about to shut the door but paused when he saw me writing again.

Lani:  
>Why? I'm already here.<br>Why leave for tomorrow what can be done today?

"Can't you talk?"

Lani:  
>If I could I would.<p>

"Smart mouth." He looked at me and ran his hand through his hair sighing. "Follow me." He walked past me to the side of the house. It looked like a shabby four walled structure. To say a studio would be stretching it, but beggars can't be choosers. He unlocked the door and opened it. I could see his Adam's apple moving and tugged on his sleeve.

Lani:  
>You need to face me when you talk and<br>you also need to work on your mumbling it's not a good habit.

"Smart ass." I cocked an eyebrow at him as he looked at me irritated. "I was saying it's not much. All the fixtures work though."

I looked around the room to the far right from the door was a small fridge, a sink, and a small stove top.

"The bathroom is through that door." He motioned to the only door in the room aside from the one we entered in. He stared at me and then at my bags. "You can stay here tonight. Do you need a blanket or pillow?" I shook my head. "Did you eat?" I gave a swift nod. "Then why is your stomach rumbling?" Shit! This is where hearing would have been great. I played it off but he grabbed my arm and tugged me toward the house. As we entered I saw the boy from earlier and a younger girl. They were sitting around the T.V. eating pizza. The man let go of my arm and stepped in front of me.

"Eat."

Lani:  
>HOW MUCH?<p>

"$200.00!" The boy said as he read the note from beside his father. His father looked at him and glared whereas the boy looked at me and glared. I turned around and rummaged through the duffel pulling out from my savings the money. I handed it to the boy who stood there dumbfounded. Grabbing the key from the counter I left to the studio. I stood in darkness and lied down after entering. A light flashed in the window; I ignored it. The door opened and I sat up. The dad stood there with a paper plate, pillow, and blanket.

"Spare key." He said as he twirled it around his finger. He placed the stuff on the ground along with the money. "This place isn't worth $200.00 and I actually didn't think anyone would be interested in it. I took $50.00." With that he got up and left.

I looked at the plate as the sun settled and the darkness crept in.

Welcome to La Push.


	3. Phase 3

I left the studio and headed toward Billy's house. The campfire was going and I guess it was the pack that were sitting around the fire.

"You're late." Sam said as a hello.

I didn't pay attention but sat down away from everyone and glared at Billy.

"Do you want something to eat?" Billy asked me. When he saw I didn't flinch he started talking.

I watch Billy's lips intently as he speaks about the Quileute tribe and our ancestry. Billy told me about the spirit warriors, Chief Taha Aki, the sacrifice of his third wife, and of my great-grandfather Ephraim Black. Billy stopped and looked at me. I sat there with no emotion. A cruel life can do that to you. I learned long ago it's better not to feel anything; I learned how to rid myself of my emotions. At least that's what I thought until I saw the man from earlier flash in my head. This was dangerous; feelings started to resurface in my body and mind as if I had no control over it. I shook my head slightly and looked back at Billy; just focus.

I looked at him waiting for more information. He told me about a girl named Bella, the Cullen family, Victoria, and the newborn army. It turns out Bella is now engaged to one of the Cullen's and Jacob ran from home when he heard the news.

"Lani, you can stay in his room."

I felt a chill and couldn't tell if it was from the invitation or the cool night air that was settling around us. I looked at Billy and started to get up to leave. Like hell I would stay here. Sam ran in front of me and stopped me.

"Billy's talking to you."

I turned around and looked at him exasperatedly.

"Lani, I'm sorry I couldn't find you. I'm sorry it took me so long." He said searching my eyes for forgiveness, understanding. I scribbled something down and handed him the notebook.

Lani:  
>Nine years; nine years!<br>You were too late, the damage was already done.  
>I don't need you anymore.<p>

Everyone looked expectantly at Billy to clue them in but he didn't. He couldn't as tears started to roll from his eyes.

"You can't leave; it is your duty to protect our tribe." Sam said.

I reached back behind me and Billy placed the notebook in my hand.

Lani:  
>Why should I protect something that never protected me?<p>

Sam read it aloud and looked at me angrily and a bit confused. I didn't need my ears to know that he was growling. Sam looked behind me at Billy.

"She can't just walk away from her duty." He said to Billy. No doubt, countering something Billy had said. I turned to see the elders look to Billy. He raised his head and looked at me.

"Lani, you may not need us but we need you. I need you."

Lani:  
>Get ready for disappointment because that's all that I got when I needed you.<p>

Billy read the note and looked at me tiredly.

"Look, I don't know what happened between you two but you have to stay that's an order!" Sam said getting more irritated.

I looked at him dumfounded. Who was he to order me around? For some reason he looked at me perplexed.

"It doesn't work, Sam, she can't hear." Billy said as he looked at me.

I gave a confused look at both of them but decided I didn't want to know what was going on. I started to leave when Leah ran up in front of me.

"You weren't the only one in pain. He really did try to find you. When he found out that your dad moved without telling him he asked Charlie to locate him. No matter how hard Charlie tried you father was always one step ahead. You weren't there to see them cry for having lost you. I was." Leah said angrily. "Rachel and Rebecca would be crying to find out where there cousin had gone. While Sara, Billy, and Charlie searched high and low. The day Sara died…" Leah stopped and looked behind me. I turned to see Billy shaking his head. I grabbed her shoulders and started to shake her to continue. She pushed me back and tears fell from her face. "The day her car crashed was the day Charlie phoned to say he found out where you were. She was on her way to get you." Leah stopped and looked at me, while I tried to grasp the information. "How does it feel to have killed both you mother and your aunt?" Sue came up from behind and slapped Leah.

"I raised you to be better than this." Sue said with anger on her face. I remember Sue and for her to get angry took a lot. She never got angry as far as I could remember.

"She needs a reality check." Leah explained rubbing her cheek. "She is not the only one who got the short end of the stick. My dad died but you don't see me using that as an excuse to run away."

I turned to Billy and looked at him, grabbing the notebook.

Lani:  
>Is it true? Did she die trying to come get me?<p>

"It wasn't your fault." Billy said after he read the note. "I don't blame you. When she got the call she we were ecstatic. She didn't want to come pick me up but was determined to go right from the store to get you. She said she couldn't leave you another minute with your father."

Lani:  
>Why didn't you try to keep me from him?<p>

"Lani, we didn't know how deep his hatred was for you. That is until Charlie went to your old house and inquired the neighbors as to what happened to you two. He went to the police station and read the full report." Billy looked down and took a breath. "If we had known that was hurting you we wouldn't have let you go."

Tears were falling from my eyes. I couldn't look at Billy as he started to roll his chair toward me. He reached for my hand but I pulled it away. I shook my head trying to clear what my thoughts were. I scribbled down what I thought on a paper, handed it to him and ran. As I ran I phased and let my paws sink deep into the ground. Pounding the earth as hard as I could. As I neared the studio from the thick forest I looked around cautiously and phased back. I ran quickly toward the door and locked it behind me. I grabbed the blanket that the renter had lent me and curled myself in it, sobbing myself to some form of sleep.

* * *

><p>CAMPSITE<p>

Billy looked at the paper and hung his head low. Sue came up and tried to give him some reassurance but all she could do was clasp his shoulder. He dropped the notebook as Sue motioned for Sam to help bring him inside. The rest of the pack watched, some confused and some hurt.

"Damn Leah, you didn't have to be so hard on her." Seth said as he went to the notebook trying to find the last entry.

"Yeah Leah." Quil said as he stood by Seth, trying to help him find the page. "She's pretty good." He mumbled as they came across sketches of people in her notebook. The rest gathered around except Leah.

"Bite me." Leah said as her only defense. "You were a baby Quil when she had last visisted. You don't know or remember anything about her."

"We know this much." Embry said somberly. "She really hates herself, now possibly more than ever."

Leah looked at them confused as Seth handed her the last entry Lani had written.

Lani:  
>You should hate me!<br>I killed your sister and your wife.  
>My father was right!<br>I really am a damned monster.


	4. Phase 4

"I'm glad to see you're still in town." Sam said as he stood in front of me in the mom and pop store on the Rez.

I walked passed him and headed out of the store. The rest of the pack was there waiting. I ignored them and kept walking.

"Hey, it's not like we want you here. If you want to go you can leave." Paul said as he walked backward so he could face me.

"Lani, I don't know your past but we're here for you. We're family now." Sam said stopping me with his hands on my shoulders.

I looked at him with disgust. I took the pencil from behind my ear and wrote on a new notepad I had just gotten.

Lani:  
>I have no family; I don't want family.<p>

"You may not want it but it is your duty." Sam said as he looked at me with a sense of authority.

Lani:  
>My duty is to live my life the way I want to.<p>

Sam started saying something to me but I continued ignoring them and went to the studio. They had stopped following me half way there. After looking through the help ads from the paper I bought at the store, I took out my sketch pad. Immediately my hands started moving in swifts soft motions. I looked at the finished product and saw that I had drawn the face that had haunted me for three days now. I looked up as the door opened. There stood the guy that rented me this place. I glared at him as he motioned toward a box he brought with him. His kids were standing behind him.

* * *

><p>"I need to fix something with the light fixtures." He said. "Nice picture, boyfriend?" I glared and he raised his arms in surrender mode. "By the way, I'm Neal. This is Takoda." He said motioning to his son. "And this angel is Chenoa." He said as his little girl hid behind him. He didn't wait for me to give him my name, and started working with the light.<p>

I went back to sketching as he worked. While Takoda helped Neil and Chenoa watched me. I looked at her and she looked down. I tore a piece of paper and handed her color pencils I had. She lay on her tummy and set to work. I received a coy smile from Neil and looked away indifferent. I was transfixed in my sketches that I didn't notice that Neal had finished. I looked up and saw that he, and the kids, were gone. I furrowed by eyebrows as I looked at the icicle Christmas lights hanging around the room. What the hell. The lights started flickering as Neal opened the door and gave a smirk, his children squealed behind him looking at the lights.

"I realized you wouldn't hear if someone knocked. I read online that those who are deaf use lights to know when a timer goes off, or the doorbell rings, so I put a light-bell in."

I looked at him confused. Why would he go through all that trouble? Weirdo. I couldn't help but keep looking at them, though. I glared back at him.

"Hey, my studio, you're just renting, wildcat I can do whatever I want to it."

Lani:  
>Wildcat?<p>

Neal looked at the piece of paper I was holding and shrugged. "It was either that or smart ass, but since I have kids I opted for the former."

"What's smart ass?" Takoda asked. Neil paled a bit and I couldn't help but give him a wicked smirk with my eyebrow raised.

"Come on, let's go eat." Neil said ignoring the question

* * *

><p>A few hours later the lights started to blink. I reluctantly got up expecting to see Neil, to my surprise Charlie stood in front of me.<p>

"Hey, kiddo." He said awkwardly with a grim smile. "Can I come in?"

I don't know what it is about Charlie, but ever since I was little I was always drawn to his oddness toward people. It made me feel like I wasn't alone. Thus, I let him in and tried to keep my brave face on. The problem: that I had seen Charlie at breaking point when his parents died.

I remember that day clearly because it was during the last summer, 1991, that I had come down to visit Billy and Sara; I was five, turning six that December. I remember him sitting at Billy's table and Sara bringing him coffee, while Billy tried to reassure him.

* * *

><p>SUMMER OF '91<p>

"I have nothing, Billy. Nothing! Renée's gone, my daughter…" Charlie put his head in his hands. "Now the ones that kept me from following them are gone and it's too late to follow her now." Charlie heaved a big sigh as he finished.

I had been standing behind the wall leading toward the kitchen peeking at them. Charlie looked up from his hands and saw me. Blood shot eyes and tears were what I saw and my heart lunged toward him. I ran up to him and hugged him not sure if it would work, since it never worked with my father. I was afraid it would have the same result but at the same time I knew that I was safe with Charlie. I had always wished my father was Charlie.

"Don't cry Uncle Charlie, I love you."

"Awww, thanks lovebug." He said holding me tightly. "I love you too," He loosened his grip and looked at me, wiping the tears I had for him. "I feel better already. You have the magic touch." He pinched my nose with a little smile. He wrapped him arm around me as I sat on his lap and I leaned into his chest. I never knew comfort and safety as that of Charlie. I had fallen asleep in his arms. The next day my father came to pick me up and that was the last I had seen of anyone in Forks, or the Rez.

* * *

><p>PRESENT<p>

I looked at Charlie as he surveyed me. He looked away and glanced around the studio.

"Nice digs." He said.

I shrugged, but when he looked at me I turned away. I walked toward the window and looked out. Neil was playing with his kids in the backyard. He had just scooped up Takoda and lugged him over his shoulder as he ran after Chenoa. I turned around and saw Charlie watching me. He dropped his hands from his side and sighed looking down. He had said something but as he looked up I pointed to my ears and shrugged. That had done it. He reached out and grabbed my arm pulling me toward him. He hugged me so tight I had stopped breathing for a bit. Weird thing was, I didn't try to fight it. So much for putting aside my emotions. Damn the man that haunted my brain. I blame him; he let something loose. Charlie let me go and I felt a bit disappointed even though I had kept myself from hugging him back. He had his hands on my face and made me look at him, his eyes teary.

"We need to ta…" His left hand touched my right ear and stroked it. "We need to have a conversation." He corrected. "Do you mind going to Billy's?"

I tried turning my head but his hands were still cradling my head.

"Tell me what happened." Without knowing it I had begun shaking. Just the memories of it all started to unleash the wolf inside. Charlie wrapped his arms around me once more trying to comfort me as I tried to keep the wolf at bay. When he finally let go, I went to a notebook and started writing.

Lani:  
>How can you still hold me?<br>I killed two people.  
>Two people who you were close with.<br>Why can't you all see the monster that I am.

Anger flashed on Charlies face.

"You're not a monster, Lani. I don't know who…" He stopped and turned around. He was trying to calm himself down before speaking again. After a couple minutes he looked back at me. "By the time we thought something had happened to you, it was too late. I went to the house and neighbors told me that you and your father hadn't returned since this one day. They told me about it. That there was so much yelling, crying, and anger coming from your house and they were scared for you. They watched as he dragged his bloodied daughter to the car and threw her in and never saw either of them again." He balled his hands into fists and then loosened them. "They didn't bother calling it in because they thought someone else had. Twenty-six people heard the commotion, zero called the police." He sighed letting out his anger. "I went to file a report at the police station in Hayfork when a Dt. James came up to me. holding a file. He said it wasn't the first time that Mark had hurt you, but that it may have been the worst time, maybe even the final time."

He walked toward the window and opened it needing the fresh air.

"We made it our mission, Billy, Sara, and I, with the help of Dt. James to find you. Then I got a call. Dt. James said that Mark had been spotted in Nevada. Before I told Billy or Sara I wanted to make sure it was accurate. I made a call to the station there and they sent some cops to investigate. Mark must have seen them coming from the window and packed you up because they never found either you or Mark. A few weeks later I got another the call but this was the real deal. A deputy had found you battered and bruised at Summitview park in Yakima. They arrested Mark and he gave me the information to come pick you up." He looked at me tears in his eyes, but he was holding on to not cry. "Lani, I was relieved to hear we finally found you. I called Billy and Sara, but Sara was the one that answered her cell phone first. I was going to head out from the station and she was heading out from the store to pick you up. However, we never made it out. I came across the crash just outside of Forks."

Tears stung my eyes as I remembered that day. I was sitting in the police station, waiting. Waiting.

"When they got her out of the car she was barely alive. She saw me and was filled with fear as she said 'Lani.'" Charlie looked down and took a breath before continuing. "We meant to pick you up that day and I'm sad that things turned out the way they did."

I tried to breathe as this new information hit me. Charlie gently pulled my arm but I pulled it away from him trying catch my breath. He tried again but this time more firmly as he pulled me toward him and I sobbed in his chest hitting him, and not too lightly. I tried to remember that he was only human as we slowly fell to the floor and he rocked me back and forth as I stayed in his arms.

* * *

><p>I slowly opened my eyes as it dawned on me I had fallen asleep. I laid my hand over my eyes processing the information again. I felt footsteps on the hardwood floor and uncovered my eyes.<p>

"Here, drink this." Charlie said as he handed me a glass of water. "Nice drawings." I gave a slight nod and drank the water. He continued to look through my sketch pad and then stopped abruptly. "I didn't know you knew Emmett Cullen." I raised my eyebrow at him. He turned the sketch pad to reveal the picture I had drawn of the man that haunted me and I gasped. "Hey, you alright?"

This was bad; I was dreaming and pining over a vampire, my mortal enemy.


	5. Phase 5

I walked up to Billy's door nervously. I could smell the pack in the forest and flipped them the bird. Why did they have to follow me? I lightly knocked on the door and decided no one was home. As I turned to leave the door opened. Damn.

I turned around and saw Billy. I didn't look him in the eyes but just focused on his lips.

"Good morning, Lani. Do you want to come in?"

No, I thought to myself, but decided against it. I nodded and followed him inside.

"Lani, I'm sorry for not finding you sooner, for not knowing." Billy said before I cut him off by holding my hand up to stop him.

I pulled the letter I had struggled to write from my bum pocket. I traced over with my hands, hesitant to give it to him. I sighed and handed it to him without looking at him. I turned to leave and that's when I saw the pictures hanging on the wall. There was the Black family - Billy, Sara, Rebecca, Rachel, and Jacob - another was of the kids playing in the front yard, there was one with Charlie and a little girl, which was probably Bella. Then there she was, my mother. I had only seen one other picture of her and Mark had that one. He held onto it greedily, but one time he was so drunk I was able to grasp it out of his hand and see the one I had taken from this world. She looked happy, vibrant. As if she was full of life and ready to live it to the full. She was beautiful!

I was about to hurry up and leave when another set of pictures caught my eye. There I was sitting on the lawn holding a stuff wolf that Charlie had bought me, as Rebecca pulled Rachel's ponytail. I scoffed and looked at another one with me on Billy's shoulders, and one with me helping Sue in the kitchen as we both laughed. Billy rolled up to me and gently grasped my hand. Tears threatened my eyes as I remembered this once happy home. I looked at Billy and he held up a photo album for me.

"I've been waiting to give this to you." He said as he handed it to me and backed away so he could read my letter.

I clutched the album and left. I needed air and once again Emmett's face came into my mind. I wanted him to be there to hold me when I got home, but all I found was an empty studio. I plopped the album on my army bag and got some water. I eyed the album cautiously as if it were going to bite me and decided it was best to get it over with than leave it for later.

I sat down and opened the album. I gasped as I saw the picture on his wall of my mother stare back at me from the album. Tears fell as I turned the page and saw older pictures from when they were little to when they started to grow up. I saw wedding pictures of Mark and my mom. My fingers tracing over Mark's happy face. A face I had never known.

I opened my mouth as I tried to breathe and turned the page to see pictures from the summers I would visit. They had taken care of me when I was a baby, but Mark took me back at the age of three and would let them have me during summer. As I turned the page the theme changed yet again to the kids. How they grew up and Jacob's birth. The album's second to last page had a family photo of Billy, Rebecca, Rachel, and Jacob outside their house. I started to sob as I flipped back to the beginning to look through it again.

* * *

><p>Uncle Billy,<p>

There is so much I want to say but too much I'm scared to say. You are not the one that needs to apologize. I know you blame yourself, but don't. I also know Charlie feels guilty about what happened as well. I don't blame either of you, I blame Mark and I blame myself.

Charlie told me about the lengths everyone went to find me and I feel guilty for giving you the cold shoulder when you tried to get me to come home with you after Sara's death. The truth is that I had died as well. I look at you and all I think is that I killed your sister and now am possibly to blame for your wife's death. I know you don't think that, but Mark's embedded that mentality in my mind. I don't hate you, although it seems that I do. I hate the past that I can't restore.

I hate that I'm alive, but Nola, mom, is dead. I hate that Sara died in a car accident when she was on her way to come get me. I hate that I don't know how to be part of your family again. I can't be the girl you remember. Not only because it's impossible, since I can't hear and speak, but because I've changed. I see the world for what it really is, which is that it's a cruel one.

Horror and anticipation consume me at the thought of coming to your house because all I think is of the good summer memories I had but how I won't ever get that back. I hate the fact that all the memories still remind me of what I've taken from you. I know you and Charlie don't think of me as a monster but after being told that for years, it's been inculcated into my brain. Plus, no matter what you tell me I will always feel responsible for both of their deaths. Not only their deaths but for also ruining Rachel, Rebecca, and Jacob's lives.

I will admit that I use to blame you and everyone here for what happened to me. I was five years old and thought that maybe no one loved me as Mark had said. However, when you came that day in '96 after Sara's death, I made my choice. I didn't want to come home with you because that meant having to face everyone. I'd rather endure hell than have to face you or your family. I don't know if your kids despise me or not, but I always felt that they would be justified if they did.

This is all really hard for me. I've been raised in a world where I didn't deserve anything good and I believed it was true. I didn't deserve fun, happiness, or love but deserved pain, agony, and harsh reality. Now I've changed once again and have to deal with the repercussions from this transformation. It's a bit overwhelming and I'm used to dealing with things on my own now. I'm used to being alone, and sadly, I prefer it that way. I don't want to be the cause of anyone else's sadness or death.

For what it's worth, I've decided to stay for the meantime. I'm staying at Neil's studio, although I'm sure Charlie already phoned you about my whereabouts. He told me Neil's a good man, not that I was worried but I'm trying to get used to the fact that there are people who worry for me, especially Charlie. Uncle Billy, it's hard to all of a sudden have people around me who actually care. This is going to take time for me to get used to it for many different reasons. Maybe I won't ever get used to it, maybe it will only take some time, but for right now this is all I can give.

Lani

Billy sat looking out the window when he had finished. Letting the blame, hatred, and guilt wash away from him as tears fell from his eyes.


	6. Phase 6

The next few days were mellow. Billy gave me the space I needed, which allowed me to put my emotions in check. I hated that I cried so much these last few days. It made me feel like I was weak and vulnerable, which made me uncomfortable. Memories of what Mark would tell me flashed in my mind which made me even more determined to get my emotions in check. What made it worse was that this was only the tip of the iceberg.

The fact that I'm spellbound by Emmett is also unsettling. For many different reasons:

a) He's a vampire

2) He's an enemy

d) 1st time I've ever felt like this

I don't know how it's possible that I could have such strong feelings for a vampire that is my enemy (supposedly), from only that first encounter. It wasn't like anything death defying happened. Well, except for the fact that he could have turned me into wolf chow, but other than that there had been no contact. I don't believe in love in first sight, but is this proving me wrong? Why is the pull so strong? I've never been in love or liked anyone so all this is new. Is it even love?

As if that's not enough, my mind goes over reasons to keep thinking about him:

a) He's attractive, annoyingly so

2) He's fit

d) 1st time I've ever wanted to belong to someone and protect them with my life, not that he would need it

My mind keeps turning over other questions. Does he feel the same way? Yeah, right, we are talking about me, but how can I see him again? Should I try to see him again? So annoying! I'm trying to rein in my emotions, but Emmett is a wild card. He pops into my mind and I go crazy.

The only other chip in the day is that although Billy has given me space Sam doesn't seem to know how to take a hint. He keeps trying to get me in wolf form. I had phased before they could see me several days ago when I first arrived, so he says he needs to see my wolf form so if anything were to happen he would know it was me. Then he keeps trying to get me to participate in pack meetings when I already wrote him that I didn't need a family. His persistence is a bit unnerving.

As for Neil and his kids they leave me alone most of the time, except for the occasional invite to eat dinner with them, which usually happens at my place. I think he caught on that I wasn't interested to eat with them and forced it upon me by coming over. He's not too shabby and his kids are pretty comical, especially Takoda. Neil commissioned me to paint a picture for his auto shop, for which I was grateful. I could handle only so many interviews with people just staring and trying to think of a reason why they shouldn't hire you aside from the fact of being deaf. Also, it wasn't as if there were many jobs in La Push, although I could try somewhere off the Rez. I actually dallied more than need be on the mural for Neil's auto shop. I could have finished within a week but took my time.

"How long do you think you can avoid us? Or not transform?" Sam asked, as I sat on the table part of the picnic bench sketching the mural out.

I looked at Sam tiredly. Seriously, why won't he just let it go? I noticed he looked at someone behind me. I turned to see Neil who was walking toward us as he wiped the grease from his hands on a rag.

"Hey, Sam."

"Neil."

"I can't help but notice you and your gang coming by every day for the last several days. I also noticed that either you sit and wait, or try talking to wildcat, but, honestly, I find it damn unsettling." Neil looked at me and looked back at Sam. "I don't think I'm the only one either. If you have no business here then I suggest you leave and stop this harassment."

Sam looked like he wanted to rip Neil's head off for that comment. However, he was in good control of his wolf self and that look had only lasted a few seconds. Not long enough for Neil to notice anything unordinary.

"Hey, Sam isn't harassing anyone. It just turns out that Lani has some responsibilities to take care of. It doesn't concern you, Neil." Paul barked back angrily. "Plus, we're the ones protecting your ass." He had muttered under his breath so that Neil couldn't hear him, but I was able to read what he had said. Jared and Embry were trying to hold him back and calm down as Sam glared at him.

"Like hell it doesn't! You guys are loitering on my property and you are harassing one of my employees; now leave." Neil responded.

I watched Neil as he looked threateningly at Paul and then at Sam. If Sam and Paul weren't able to phase into wolves, hands down Neil would beat their asses. He was a good 6'4 and muscular. Big chest, eight pack underneath the uniform he was wearing, and his legs showed off every muscle that exists in the legs. He was in pretty good shape. I wonder why he's alone.

"Let's go. We didn't mean any harm." Sam says tiredly, but as he looked at me I could see he was battling with the wolf that wanted to come out.

We watch as they head off toward the beach. Neil still with his hands crossed across his chest.

"Lani, huh? So, the wildcat does have a name."

Lani:  
>Of course I do moron.<p>

"Wildcat fits better." Neil said with a smirk. He rumpled my hair and although I glared at him I wasn't really mad.

* * *

><p>That night the lights flickered and I staggered to the door to find Leah. I shut the door in her face and went back to the sketch I was working on. The lights flickered until the door burst opened. I turned the page and wrote.<p>

Lani:  
>You're fixing that.<p>

Leah sat in front of me as I glared. "You're not the only one that hates this life." I went back to sketching. Leah put her head in front of the paper. "Do you mind?"

Lani:  
>Do you?<p>

"I don't get it, how do you not transform? Aren't we getting on your nerves? So why aren't you getting mad enough to change into wolf form?"

Lani:  
>You guys are the ones wasting your time.<br>Plus, this is where not being able to hear comes in handy.  
>I can't imagine having to hear your voices.<p>

"Smart ass." Leah said with a smirk. "What happened? I remember when Billy came back from trying to get you. Why didn't you want to come back with him?" Leah sighed when I didn't write anything but instead continued drawing. "He told us you were deaf but all your grandparents told him when he went to get you was that it was your fault."

I looked down and smiled. Of course, becoming deaf at the age of five was my fault. It didn't surprise me that they protected their son, who in their eyes could do no evil, all except for marrying my mother, that is. They were against the marriage since the beginning. When she died Mark changed for the worse and he hated me. They wouldn't help matters; when they'd visit I turned into the rag girl that had to do everything and remain out of sight for as long as I could.

I was completely transfixed in the past that I forgot Leah was there. She looked at me exasperatedly and pulled down on my sketch as I looked in her eyes, trying to keep her from seeing who I was drawing.

"What's your problem? What did I do to offend you? We used to play together, I mean I get your mad at Sam and the whole wolf thing, but why are you mad at me?"

Lani:  
>Who said I'm mad? I like the fact that I'm a wolf.<br>I think it's a powerful feeling.  
>I don't get mad easily and although I may be newer to<br>this transformation than you guys,  
>I had to deal with it on my own in Seattle.<br>I had to learn how to control it.

"Can you at least keep watch with me tonight?" I raised my eyebrow. "You're not the only that gets annoyed with the pack." Leah looked down and stared at the sketch pad. "Why are you drawing that leech?"

Lani:  
>I'm not annoyed; I simply think they are wasting<br>their time and I'm drawing this person because I felt like it.

Leah looked at me incredulously before letting go of the sketch pad.

"You know he's a bloodsucker?" Leah said, as she watched me. "I wish we could just hurry up and kill them."

Before Leah knew what happened I had transformed and pounced on her snarling. As I pinned her down she looked at me shocked. I don't know what was happening but the thought of Emmett dying made my blood curl. The fact that it could be brought by those who shifted into wolves made me angrier than ever with them. I watched as her shoulder popped out of place due to my weight but stayed there as I read her lips.

"It would be better if they died. Why do you think this has happened to us?"

I snarled baring my teeth at her. Drool fell onto her face. It took everything I had to not rip her head off.

"Sam would still be with me if he hadn't changed!" Leah yelled as she grabbed at my paw trying to ease it from her shoulder. Tears began falling from her eyes. "We would be normal and he would be in love with me, not her!" Leah sobbed as she gave up trying to move under my weight. "This has brought nothing but torture to me. I hate it, dad died, Sam left me, and now everything I wanted is fucking gone, unattainable. Forget the fact that I wanted to get married and have kids. All the elders tell me is that 'it's an honor to be a warrior.' However, the truth of the matter is that I don't want any of this. All I wanted was Sam, to live our lives together. What did I do to deserve this hell?"

I stepped off of her but didn't phase.

"That hurt!" She said as she tried to control the tears. "Plus, why do you care if we kill them or not? It's not like you know them." She turned her head to the side wincing in pain. "Damn, they're the enemies not us." Her eyes widened as she looked back at the sketch. Grabbing it she flipped through it.

All I am right now is thankful that I'm still in wolf form because if I weren't she would see my blushing face. Yup, she put it together. She looked at me with a questioning look,

"Hell no; did you…did you imprint? On a VAMPIRE!?"

I snarled at her mainly because I had no idea of what an imprint was. I picked up my army bag with my fangs and walked outside behind the studio. I shifted back and quickly got dressed. When I walked back inside Leah was moving her once dislocated arm around making sure she had popped it in right. I sat down as we glared at one another.

Lani:  
>What's imprinting?<p>

Leah glared at me, and then broke into a smile. She told me everything about her relationship with Sam and what happened with Emily.

"I have to see them all the time together. It makes me sick! When we transform we see the thoughts that the others see but only when we're in wolf form. Now I am linked to his thoughts, I saw how he saw Emily, and she's an angel in his eyes." Leah looked away for a second as tears fell again from her eyes. "That's what makes it worse. I already have to deal with the love of my life leaving me, going for my cousin who I thought of as a sister, but now I have to see all of it. I don't even know if before the imprint if Sam ever thought of me as he does of Emily. He's feelings are intense." Leah dried her tear stricken face with the back of her hand. "So, as if your life isn't difficult already, you had to imprint on him?" Leah said scoffing.

Lani:  
>I only saw him one time.<p>

"Apparently that's all it takes." Leah said looking bitter. "That's gross, though. Sam's going to be pissed." At this thought Leah smiled, liking the idea of seeing Sam lose his cool.

Lani:  
>I do not like the thought of anyone entering my thoughts.<p>

"I forgot you haven't phased with us so you wouldn't know. It really is the pits. The guys can't stand me because I am filled with so much hatred. Not only that but even if we try to keep things private, it still seeps through. None of us have mastered how to keep things from being seen."

I looked down when she had finished. I ran a hand through my hair and exhaled. This was going to be a rough couple of days.

Lani:  
>So they will see what happened here.<br>We're going to have it pretty rough these next few days.

"Pssshhhh. It will be fun." Leah said with a bitter smile. No doubt she's thinking of how fun it will be when Sam finds out. "Now that we've bonded." Leah said giving me a sarcastic look. "Will you please be a lookout with me tonight?" She asked. "Please?" She asked.

I followed Leah into the woods. I turned as she stripped out of her clothes and transformed. She sat waiting; I wrote something down and showed it to the wolf.

Lani:  
>I didn't say I would transform.<p>

The wolf got agitated and shifted back. "What the hell? What do you mean you're not going to transform, how are we going to keep watch."

Lani:  
>By keeping our eyes opened.<p>

"You won't even be able to keep up." She shifted back and sprinted away.

Did she really think that I would be more willing to shift when I now knew that the others could hear my thoughts? Plus, I found it damn right unsettling how everyone in the pack seemed to want to see me phase. I couldn't help feeling as if they had a hidden agenda or reason in wanting me to transform. I walked after her. I didn't need to transform to smell which way she went. After a while I turned and headed back to the studio. Leah jumped out in front of me. Her teeth bore at me.

Lani:  
>Leah, what are you doing? Is this to get back at me?<p>

She didn't answer instead she jumped in the air toward me and tackled me down. She bit into my shoulder as I struggled to fight her off. I hit her in the eye, which loosened her grip and I wriggled free. She snapped at my leg but I kicked her before she could make contact. She ran in front of me and waited for me to make a move. I was used to waiting so I waited for her patience to run out, which didn't take long. She ran down the clearing between me and her and jumped. I shifted; grabbing her shoulder in my teeth I swung her toward a tree.

Suddenly there wasn't just the two of us anymore. I was surrounded by the wolf pack.


	7. Phase 7

The wolves surrounded me and I hunched forward ready for an attack bearing my teeth at them. One wolf in particular came to the front and stood with an air of superiority. I am guessing this large black wolf is Sam. Leah phased back and put her clothes on.

"Sorry." She mouthed than gave Sam the bird as she stood by a tree.

I didn't break my stance and kept baring my teeth. I don't know what was happening but for some unapparent reason Sam really wanted me to be in wolf form. He stood there waiting as did the other wolves. There was a little commotion among them but Sam got them quite. He shifted and put his clothes on; the others followed suit. I remained as I was.

"Lani, did you hear us?" Sam asked.

I huffed and angrily backed away. Did they already forget that I'm deaf.

"We need to have a pack meeting, NOW!" Sam said as the others started to head to the meeting spot. I started heading back to the studio. He pulled my tail and I turned on him and snarled. Paul and Jared immediately shifted back to wolf form. They attacked me to the ground, but I was able to sling Jared across a tree. Which only left Paul, but Sam had shifted and attacked from behind dislocating both my shoulders. I felt his arms come across me and he hugged me tight breaking my ribs. Air escaped me as I fell to the floor.

"Shift back!" Sam said as I looked at him in pain.

I got angry looking at him and feeling this pain. Who did he think he was to order me around? My anger started to overpower the pain and before anyone knew it I attacked Sam hurling him to the ground. I didn't let him phase before I swung him in the air and kicked him with my hind legs. I ran after his rolling body on the forest floor. However, Paul came and bit into my back. I bit his tail getting him to let go and ran like hell.

My balance was off, but I pushed through it. I got to the studio and shifted. Tears rolled down as the pain coursed through my body. I could feel the bones healing but they weren't healing right; everything felt wrong. As much as I hated to do this I undressed, phased back, and grabbed my clothes in my teeth. I had not other choice as I tried to run.

I shifted in the garage and barged through the door, locking it behind me for added effect. Although I knew Sam could bust it down if he thought it was necessary.

"Lani!?" Billy exclaimed when he saw me at the door. He pushed his chair back and instinctively I recoiled. My front did not last long as I fell to the ground. "What happened?"

He wheeled away and came back with a pad and pen.

Lani:

Sam and his goons.

"Hold on, Lani." Billy said. The pain was searing through my body, a pain I knew too well. He wheeled away for a few minutes but it seemed like hours for me. "Lani, you need to go to the border line." Billy said as he watched me struggle to get up. He saw me wince in pain and stopped moving toward me. "I cannot get a hold of Sam. If Dr. Cullen comes without Sam's knowledge they will attack him. You have to run to the border line, do you think you can manage?"

Lani:

We shall see; I've had worse.

Billy had a brief look of sadness cross over his face but was able to push his thoughts out for a bit and tell me where I needed to go. I went to the garage, stripped down, and took several deep breaths before shifting. The pain seared through my body as I heard bones break from not repairing correctly.

I ran as fast as I could but my shoulders put me at a disadvantage. I stumbled a lot as I ran through the forest. I smelled them following me. I did not want to but I dared to look toward my left and saw two wolves a way behind me. As I looked to my right I saw Paul and Jared in wolf form. Although I was in the lead it would not last for long. I tried pushing myself farther through the pain. Where was that damn border line? I stumbled and as I got up I saw Sam and the rest of the pack coming at me, I shook myself up and snarled as the pain soared through me. I leaped up and ran as hard as I could. Paul lunged at me and butted me into a tree. I quickly got up and kept running, they were closing in on me. Shit! Shit! Shit!

Sam jumped in front of me and quickly transformed, causing me to stumble forward.

"Lani, let me explain." Sam said, trying to be calm.

I didn't want to know his explanation. However he tries to excuse himself for his actions it won't make a difference. He has completely pissed me off and lost any hope of me ever trusting him. Not that I was going to, but that's beside the point. I crouched down and leaped over him. I continued running with the pack on my heels. I stumbled as I saw I had come to a small cliff. I looked around and that's when I saw them. All of them, waiting for me!

I found a path down to where they were and ran with new energy toward them, feeling like I could make it. However, a foul smell made me recoil a bit and I realized it came from them. I wanted to attack them but I kept reminding myself that they were there to help me. A few more feet and I will be across the stream. My eyes feel upon Emmett and that was my undoing. I was about to jump off a rock when Paul jumped off log next to me and tackled me back down. I winced in pain as I saw the Cullen's look at me both worried, angry, and ready to attack. I saw Sam look at them and growl. Paul bit into my shoulder and I smacked him off of me. I tried to climb down to the stream because I knew I could not jump over it now. As I made my way down, I got pulled back. I looked behind me as Jared pulled my tail. I struggled to get myself free. Splashing the water all around me as I tried to break free. I looked up and saw the vampires make a step for me wanting to help. Paul was about to join Jared in pulling me back when Leah jumped on Jared causing him to let me go. She looked at me and nodded for me to go on.

I faced them as I started to back track into the stream. I watched as Sam growled at Leah and Leah bow to the earth. I growled and bared my teeth as he looked at me. Boy, did he look pissed! I guess he probably found out about my imprint too. Peachy, just peachy! I felt a cold hand rub my fur and quickly turned around. My hair stood on end as I smelled the air. It was, for lack of a better comparison, like a dead cat smell, but worse and different. Yeah, that makes sense. A blond man put his hands up in surrender. I looked at the rest of them. One of them was stepping in front of a girl with a pixie haircut while Emmett just looked at me as if begging me to attack. I hardly noticed the blonde girl to his side that looked uneasy and irritated. I looked back at the blonde guy who had put his hands up.

"I'm Doctor Cullen, we're here to help you." I looked at him as he glanced at his wife and looked back at me.

I watched as another one tried talking to Sam.

"It may not concern us, but Billy asked for my father's help. Apparently you dislocated her shoulders in such a way that they are not healing properly." Said a vampire with a brooding look. He said the words with such venom, literally, and with disgust as he looked at Sam.

I turned back and watched as Sam and the rest of the pack remained in wolf form. This must be Edward, the vampire that Bella fell for. I'm transfixed in my spot in complete awe that he is able to communicate by just hearing Sam's thoughts. Must be nice. He glanced over at me out of the corner of his eyes. I snarled at him but stopped myself from continuing. I shook my head and took a few spaces backward. Dr. Cullen came in front of me and was trying to evaluate how bad the injuries were without touching me.

"I think it would be best if we went to the house." I watched him as he looked behind me.

I turned and saw the pack watching, hair on end, waiting to see what I will do. Leah looked pained as she stood with them. The brooding vampire quickly turned to look at me. I looked back at him bewildered as to why he would suddenly look at me.

"You can't hear them?" He asked turning slightly to face Sam.

I huffed at the ground. A look of pain and disgust came on his face as he looked at me. I snarl realizing that the memories of how I lost my hearing had entered my thoughts thus they entered his. Emmett took a step forward his eyes twinkling waiting for me to pounce. I keep snarling at Edward but something in me stops me from doing anything. I'm mad but at the same time if I were to attack Edward and hurt him Emmett might be mad at me. Edward raised his eyebrow at me as that thought entered in my head. I begin snarling again when Dr. Cullen steps in front of them.

"We can help you if you want us to. I imagine your shoulders are in a lot of pain seeing as how they did not set properly." As he reminded me of the injuries my adrenaline started to way thin and I could feel the sharp pain. "It's your choice?"

I snarl at Edward, turn to my right to see the pack across the way and snarl and bark at them too. I look at Dr. Cullen and nod. I following he and a woman he now is holding hands with walk in front. I shift uncomfortably through the pain but it's not as bad as it once was. I wonder if it's because I know that he is nearby. I can't help but smile inwardly at the thought of being so close to him, Emmett Cullen.


	8. Phase 8

As I follow Dr. Cullen I realize that the rest of the vampires remain a good distance behind. I guess it's to better gage how I will react if at all. If I will attack or not. As we step into the clearing their house comes into view. I stop in mu tracks as I look at it. Confused because it's nothing I would imagine for a vampire to live. It's so open…friendly. Whenever I read of vampires in book it's always that their soulless and have no feelings. They live on their thirst for blood nothing else. I notice that Dr. Cullen is standing by the door waiting for me. I begin to walk forward and stumble awkwardly as my shoulder continues to set my balance off.

I stand in front of the door and realize there is no way I will fit in wolf form. Dread fills me as I realize that my clothes must have dropped when I was running for my life in the woods. Damn it! I shake my head annoyed and start to take a few steps backwards.

"Lani?" Dr. Cullen asks me looking slightly confused.

What do I do? I don't want them to see? I turn around and see Edward. He nods and in a blink of an eye is gone and back again with clothes. He cautiously steps forward to give them to me. All I can feel is anger! He steps away and gives me an apologetic look. It makes me want to spit! It's because he saw what happened and the toll it took on me. Damn him! I'm so angry that my vision starts to blur. I start walking toward Edward like he is my prey. A strong arm grabs my shoulder making me wince in pain. I turn and see Emmett looking at me with his hand on my shoulder. I huff but my anger begins to subside seeing him. I look at Edward and growl. I grab the clothes in my mouth and walk clumsily toward the trees.

As cliché as it sounds, I begin huffing and puffing, I just might blow their house down, before I transform. The pain, once again, shoots through me as my body reforms itself into a human causing the dislocated bones to stick out in an awful looking way. I breath heavily as I reach for the clothes and try to put them on. The scent of them captivates me as I realize that it's his scent. My breathing becomes jagged with that thought spiraling in my head. Control yourself Lani. So what if it is Emmett's clothes that you're wearing? Damn Edward! If what they told me at the campfire was true then that means he could hear all my thoughts. He knows that I imprinted! Great! Anything else? I ask looking up at the sky but not asking anyone in particular. I raise my arms in annoyance but the pain sends me back to reality.

Get this over with Lani and then it will all be over. I start heading back to the clearing after making sure a fifth time that all my skin was covered. The one thing I am grateful about is that Edward at least got me a turtleneck. My unruly curly chin length hair covers the rest. I sigh and start heading back. They haven't moved from when I left and I raise my eyebrows as I stop in my tracks. For a few seconds I just stand there as I look at them and they look at me.

"Lani, please come on in." A woman says standing next to Dr. Cullen. I can't help but hesitate, but then I see Edward. The fact that he knows makes me angry again. I stay for a few minutes looking at him then towards the exit in the trees. Get this over with; the faster the better. I walk unsteadily forward and pass the Doctor as I head inside. It's so…white and clean. It looks like a loving home. I don't know why this shocks me, maybe it's because I'm human and never grew up in a home like this or it' could be the fact that this goes against everything that I have read about vampires. Whatever the case I can't help feel uncomfortable, although my wounds may have a part to play in that as well. I sigh as I turn and see that they're all watching me.

"Have a seat Lani." Dr. Cullen says as he motions at a chair. "I'm just going to feel your shoulders, okay?" He says as I take a seat. I nod and breath evenly as I ready myself for the pain that will ensue. I focus on my breathing as he starts feeling my shoulders. Dr. Cullen sighs and looks at me sadly. " They're out of the sockets. I have to pop them back into place. When I helped Jacob the medicine hardly did anything for the pain. If you want it, though, I can give you some. It may ease the pain."

I shake my head no and continue to focus on my breathing. He takes a few seconds and looks at me. When he sees that I'm sure of my decision he places his hands on my right shoulder and arm. I stare straight ahead; breath in, breath out. I lean forward as I feel this familiar pain. I keep count of my breathing and continue to focus on it as Dr. Cullen places his hands on my left shoulder and arm. My breathing is heavier after he does the second one but I'm proud that I didn't cry. I have been crying too much lately. This feels like my own private victory! At the same time, it reminds me that I'm accustomed to physical pain. Who knows? Maybe I should thank Mark for the training. I look up quickly at Edward and I roll my eyes. I start to stand but Dr. Cullen puts his hand on my shoulder.

"I need to look at your ribcage." He says. I cling my shirt down and glare at him. "Lani, I need to bandage it"

I glare at him and look around.

"I can translate for you." Edward says as he comes next to Dr. Cullen. I glare at him now and stick my nose up indignantly. "Do you want me to tell him that you're thinking about when..."

I got so angry I transformed and growled at him. The pain in my shoulders making me hesitate a little but enough time for Emmett to tackle me. Jasper threw him off me and looked at me warily. I'm stunned that he did that; my imprint tackled me. A series of pain from within starts to envelope me. No, I was going to attack Edward that's why he did that. He did it to protect Edward. I look at Emmett and he is staring at me as if daring me to do something. I shake myself off and look at them. I turn and want to barrel through the glass tall windows but I feel bad knowing that I would have to replace it. I become antsy and begin to fidget with the door handles with my snout. I see Edward in my peripheral come closer to me.

"I won't say anything; Carlisle says to put your arms in slings." He says while looking at me sincerely. "If you need anything else he wants you to know you can always come back."

I look back at Dr. Cullen in shock. I almost attacked your kid and you want me to come back!

"Thank you." Edward says to me as I turn back. "It's easy for me to read thoughts and I know it took a lot for you not to rip my head off. I'm grateful as I'm sure Bella will be too."

I turn my head and remember that Charlie's kid feel for this schmuck. He smirks at my words. I growl and see him put his hand up. I turn to see Emmett ready to charge and Jasper standing in his way. The pixie haired chick and blondie are standing next to them, while Dr. Cullen and another woman stand closer to us. Their smiles are warm as they look at me. Although I can tell the doctor is worried about my injuries. However, my shoulder are already feeling better...make that slightly feeling better. I quickly turn and make my exist. When Edward comes in front of me.

"We're worried about the pack. Will they still attack you?"

How should I know?

"It seems Sam really wants you to be a part of their pack."

He won't let up!

"Maybe you should just hear what he has to say."

I lean my head to the left.

You do know it's about protecting the land and bloodsuckers are evil, right?

"We're not his favorite people, but maybe it will keep you from getting beat up." He said as he started making his way back to the house.

I watched him and saw the others on the other side of the glass. Emmett glaring at me which again made me feel this sharp pain in my chest. I was tempted to go back to try and get him to trust me. I shake my head as I think about my last thought. I am in control, damn imprint! I turn and start to head back but I go by a different route so that I will be closer to Neil's place. I smell them and run harder toward my studio. I'm waiting for them to attack but it never comes. As I get to the clearing I realize that, yet again, I have no clothes to change into. Shit! I walk slowly as I near the clearing and see my studio. What's worse? There is Sam waiting for me, holding my clothes from earlier.


	9. Phase 9

Sam runs up the hill to me and puts the clothes in front of me. I don't take my eyes off of him. He looks different; calmer. The dawn starts to appear as we stand where we are for a few minutes, neither of us moving.

"Look, Lani, I'm sorry that last night got out of hand." He started as he ran a hand through his hair. "But we are family now, whether you like it or not. At least give us a chance."

I pick up the clothes with my mouth and go behind a few trees to shield anyone from seeing me change. As I come out to where Sam is I pick up a stick and write in the ground.

Lani:  
>"What did you do to Leah?"<p>

Sam hesitates and then looks back at me with a determined look. "I had to use my Alpha voice on her." Instantly something inside me wanted to rip his head off when he said that although I don't know why.

Lani:  
>Alpha voice?<p>

Sam knows I'm mad but stands his ground unfazed. "Since I'm the leader of the pack I can get the others to listen to my command." Anger was seething through me as I erased my last question from the ground and wrote a different one.

Lani:  
>That's why you wanted me in wolf form so bad?<p>

To command me?

"Look, I am in charge with protecting this land. We all are. I have to do what's best for everyone."

Lani:  
>So, this is part of your ability as Alpha?<br>To order us around like your lackeys?

Sam was starting to lose his patience. "Can you just come to our place? It will be a bit more comfortable than standing out here."

Lani:  
>I feel fine out here.<p>

"Lani, please?" Sam asked.

I follow the pack as well as Sam to a house. Upon entering I see a woman setting some food on the table. Now shifted back the pack comes barreling in and sit around the table. The last two to enter were Leah and Seth. Leah didn't look at me but kept her head down.

"Dude, you are one cool looking wolf. I never imagined you would be all white. Man, you're almost as big as Jacob that's awesome!" Seth smiled at me as I just looked at him. "You know Leah feels bad about what she did. Sam told her to do it. He's not a bad guy. He takes this really seriously."

I nod at Seth but anger is still consuming me but I try to keep it in check. Sam handed me a notebook and pen.

Lani:  
>How come know one said anything at the campfire about your Alpha voice?<p>

"I wish I didn't have to use my command voice on at all, but it's for everyone's best interest." He said as he leaned against the wall with his hands crossed. "You didn't hear any of us?" He asks in wonderment. I glare at him. How many times is everyone going to ask me that? "It's just that part of our abilities as wolf is that we can hear each other's thoughts." He then explained why we need to stick together and protect the land, especially since Bella was going to get married to Edward. "Their will be more vampires so we need to train you."

Lani:  
>Who said I would join your little pack?<p>

"Lani." He started looking at me tiredly.

Lani:  
>You've said your piece and I get it. You feel responsible for the people here and protecting them. That's great! I don't want any part of it. I've earned that in my life. I'm not beholden to anyone or any just cause. I do whatever I feel is right. Why should I help you? Because you think we have a common bond being werewolves? You even admitted that you would use your Alpha voice on me to get me to obey you. What kind of leadership is that? I don't know if vampires are bad or not but what I do know is that they could have easily killed me when I was in their house but instead they tried to help me. They tried to fix the wounds that you gave me.<p>

Sam looked at me a flicker of remorse and pain on his face. "You sure are stubborn, aren't you? Plus, it's probably just because you imprinted on one of those bloodsuckers." A tired looks befalls him. "Let's eat." He said thinking he could just avoid everything I had written down.

The guys were already sitting there wondering what I had written. The enthusiasm they had entered with had now dissipated. They looked at me cautiously and looked at Sam. The woman I didn't know looked at me with pity. Anger was seething from me as he called Emmett a bloodsucker. The woman came up to me.

"I'm Emily." I stared purposely at her scars and looked at Sam.

Lani:  
>You go against his order?<p>

I say purposely looking at the scars and back at Sam. Emily's eyes started to brim with tears. I turn the notepad back around and write another question.

Lani:  
>You get ordered to be his woman?<p>

Sam nearly lost it and lunged toward me. I pushed Emily out of the way to prevent her from getting hurt again and she landed on the couch. Paul and Jared held back Sam as I glared at him.

"Damn you!"

"She's a liability." I read Paul's lips and freeze for a second.

"She's still one of us." Sam replied.

"Sam, how is she going to protect any of us if she can't hear any noises? We could get killed because of her." Paul asked as Sam was calming down. "We don't need her."

"It's not like she likes us anyways." Jared chimed in. "We don't need another Leah in our head."

"Bite me." Leah replied.

"I would but I don't want to get any diseases." Jared joked back.

"I like her." Seth chimed which gained a glare from Paul and I.

"You don't even know her, none of us do." Paul retorted.

"We're not the bad ones, Lani." Sam said to me.

Lani:  
>But your not saints either.<p>

"I never said we were." Sam replied. "You're either with us or against us." Sam said as he moved toward Emily. "it's your choice."

* * *

><p>Once I got back to my studio I'm so agitated that I didn't realize the lights were blinking. Neal opened the damaged door.<p>

"What happened?" He said pointing toward the door. I glowered at him and he turned toward the door. "I know you only have been living here a few weeks now, but I have kids." I look at him wondering where he is going with this. "Are you in some kind of trouble?"

I scoff and turn running my hands through my hair. I pick up my notebook.

Lani:  
>If you want me gone I will leave. I'm not in trouble just couldn't open the door last night and got mad. I ended up kicking it in.<p>

I could tell Neil didn't believe me but the wonderful thing about Neil is that he just nodded.

"You ever think about going to a gym to work out that frustration." He said with a small smile; worry still in his eyes.

Lani:  
>Tried it but kicking down doors is so much more fun.<p>

"I bet wildcat." He looks at the door and examines it. "I'll have it fixed after breakfast. How about you join us?" For the first time I don't put up a fight. Neil puts his hand on my forehead. "Either you must be really sick or really hungry."

I push his hand away and he wraps his arm around my neck in a choke hold, laughing. "Come on, let's go eat." As we make our way to his house he slows down a bit. "Hey, if you need any help or anything I'm here okay?" I nod tiredly. "I think you have a visitor." He says as he waves to someone. "I'll make you a plate." He says going inside.

I see Leah make her way to me. Remorse written all over her face. "I'm sorry." Leah said watching me, I simply stared at her. "I didn't want to do it, but Sam..." She didn't need to finish that sentence. I didn't feel remorse for her though, either. Even though I knew it wasn't her fault, I would not sympathize with her. "I didn't lie though; you're not the only one that hates this life."

Lani:  
>Go home.<p>

Leah looks at me a bit hurt but nods rolling her eyes. "You have it easy, at least you can avoid being commanded and having your thoughts heard by everyone. I wish I were deaf."

Lani:  
>Be careful what you wish for.<p> 


	10. Phase 10

The following days weren't exactly peaceful. The pack was keeping it's distance and Sam had stopped coming around but everything that happened kept replaying in my head.

"She's a liability." Paul's words keep echoing in my head.

I lay on my sleeping bag as those words seemed to get bigger and stronger. Liability, huh? Yup, that's me. I'm liable to cause your deaths. I think bitterly to myself. What was worse was that I couldn't get the image of Emmett glaring at me out of my head. It caused me so much pain that I couldn't sleep. I was tempted to cross the borderline a few times, but was afraid to at the same time.

I went to see Uncle Billy a few times in the past few days. It was weird at first but it was a start and I knew Billy was happy about that. Sometimes he would try to talk to me about nothing in particular other times he would try to talk about the past. In either case I wouldn't answer. I would sit there and let him talk. I could tell he was worried about Jacob even though he would try to hide it from me.

Charlie would come by whenever he would visit Billy. For some reason it was always easier with Charlie. We never had to exchange words we just sort of understood one another. It was refreshing. I'd never seen Bella but apparently she and Edward were still going through with the wedding. Charlie didn't seemed to thrilled but at the same time he seemed to try to make peace with the notion of them getting married. It was a bit heart-wrenching. Here I was fine with being alone and there is Charlie who never wanted to be alone but always seems to end up alone. Life plays tricks like that.

I ran into Sam and the pack a few times but they wouldn't try anything and I, obviously, wouldn't say anything. I think Sam thought that if they ignored me long enough that I would come to them. The thing is that I'm used to being alone, so being shunned by them didn't have an effect on me. I felt that I was starting to go back to my usual self. My emotions were more in check and for that I was grateful. It took me a long time to learn how to feel nothing, no expectations, no hopes, so this was a relief to me.

* * *

><p>I woke up to flickering lights lighting my studio. I squinted and rubbed my eyes opened. I opened the door to find Seth standing there.<p>

"Jacob's back." I stared at him and his bright smile gloomily and slammed the door shut.

I lied back down on my sleeping bag and burled myself in it. Not that I was cold, but it was comforting. The lights flickered again and I covered my head with the sleeping bag. The lights flickered, who knew that I would have so many visitors; I sure didn't. Irritated, I threw the blankets off me and answered the door with a scowl. Chenoa, Neal's daughter, stood there with a plate of cookies. She smiled and I could see her two front teeth missing. I squatted down and looked at her. She was wearing a cream sun dress whereas I kept myself covered all the time from head to toe. I reached out for the plate. She entered and sat with a coloring book she brought with her. I sighed and standing up I saw Neil working on a car with Takoda. I guess I was about to wake up anyway. I ended up sketching Neal and his kids a lot more than I wanted to. However, every artist needs a model. For some reason Takoda and Chenoa would invite themselves over more than I cared for. Takoda would try to talk but he never expected a response, whereas Chenoa never spoke to me and that was fine. In fact I found them both more bearable than adults.

* * *

><p>I stayed focused on the mural I was doing at Neil's for the next few days. Truth was I didn't want to see Jacob. Uncle Billy was one thing, but now I would have to face the kid that I had taken his mother away from. However, eventually Jacob came by the garage.<p>

"Hey." I was sitting outside sketching out another picture to paint on the other side of Neal's garage. "That's pretty good." I sat there waiting for him to continue. "Sorry I haven't come to see you earlier but...well anyway."

Seth had already come by and told me what happened at Bella's wedding. Jacob had run off for a bit but had returned again. I don't know why that runt puts forth so much effort, but he was getting to be just like Takoda talking none stop. What is it about me that they find so fascinating? However, Seth seemed like a good kid, naïve, but good.

Jacob shuffled a bit waiting for me to write something.

"Yeah, life sucks. I wish I would just die already." Jacob laughed a bit and looked at me. "Rachel's back, what's worse she imprinted on Paul.: He waited for a reaction but sighed when he didn't get one. "Yup, life sucks." He didn't say anything for a while. "Do you want to come over for dinner?"

Lani:  
>Paul's there remember.<p>

He laughed but the smile didn't reach his eyes. "True, but he has calmed down a lot since he imprinted. I don't know if I should be grateful or not." He shifted uncomfortably and continued. "I heard you imprinted as well. A bloodsucker, really?"

My face flushed and I started to get angry. Why is everything out in the open? I tried to calm down as he waited.

Lani:  
>I take it you didn't imprint on Bella.<p>

He scowled at me and nodded. "You sure have a way with words don't you. No bullshit, you go straight for the kill. I guess I deserved that though."

Lani:  
>Why waste paper?<p>

He raised an eyebrow at me and shook his head. "I really wanted to believe I had imprinted on her, but I didn't. You know that Leah used to be with Sam. Everyone thought they would be married but Emily came to visit and POW that was it. Goodbye Leah, hello Emily."

Lani:  
>Life does suck.<p>

"So, what about you?" I raised my eyebrow at him and waited. "Dad told me you used to visit but he doesn't say anything else. You know he doesn't blame you for Aunt Nola's death. You couldn't help it if..."

I stood up; I didn't need him to tell me this. He grabbed my arm and turned me around.

"Lani, I lost my mom too."

Lani:  
>I hope you find her soon.<p>

"Damn it. What's wrong with you?"

Lani:  
>We didn't lose our mothers like a pair of keys, Jacob. They died there's a difference.<p>

"Fuck! I'm trying here Lani. I don't know you but you're family. Rachel and Rebecca, even dad, they all won't tell me much about you except that you used to visit and then you didn't. What happened? Why are you hateful toward us?" I concentrated on my breathing as I looked at Jacob. The last summer I came he was just a baby, he wouldn't remember me. I saw the pain in his eyes. It wasn't all for me but I could see he was barely hanging on. I stared at the ground for a bit and began writing on the notepad.

I'm sad she died. Your mom was really awesome. I remember we would help her bake cookies and how we'd fight over who got to lick the spoon. At night, we'd sit outside around a camp fire and she and Uncle Billy would tell us stories. I'm sad you didn't have more time with her.

Jacob stared at the paper drooping his shoulders down. He watched as I took the notepad and wrote something else.

I'm used to being alone, Jacob. I don't trust people, so don't take it personally. If you need to rant and rave I'm here. Apparently, even though I can't hear, people like to talk to me. Right now, that's all I can offer you.

"Sure, sure." He said as he nodded and gave a little smile. "You need to learn how to smile." He nodded and stood up. "By the way, thanks for visiting dad while I was gone." He looked at the ground and then back up. "I read the letter." I looked at him shocked but realized that it was only a matter of time and nodded at him. "We don't blame you, I want you to know that." I nodded as he waved bye.

* * *

><p>A few hours later Jacob was back seething with anger. He didn't get off his motorbike which looked rather small for his big frame.<p>

"Bella's back! Sam doesn't want to attack. He goes on about our duty but turns into a coward when the time comes." He looks away and turns back to me. "I'm going over there, to the Cullen's house."

Lani:  
>What happened?<p>

"Sam called for an emergency pack meeting." Jacob said anger seething from every fiber of his body. "Anyway, Charlie called and apparently Edward and Bella are back. They told Charlie that she's sick. I can't believe Sam doesn't want to do anything."

Lani:  
>She made her choice, this day was inevitable.<p>

"Will you cut the crap? I mean do you even know...forget it."

Lani:  
>Why are you telling me this? For support or for me to give you a reason to not go?<p>

"Damned if I know. That's my Bella, I..." He hit the handle bar of his bike and I was amazed it didn't break.

Lani:  
>She's not yours.<p>

Jacob looked at me in anger. "Forget it." He revved up the bike and took off. I see Neil wave to him but doesn't receive a return wave. He walks up to me and takes a seat.

"Problems?" Neal asked as he picked up the sketch drawings that made it in the junk pile. "That kid seems to be going through a lot." He said un-crumpling the drawings and looking at them. "Billy said he was visiting family, but Charlie swung by with missing ads about a month or so ago. I know how much you love people, but Jacob's a good kid. Helped in my garage a few times during the summer. Maybe you could take it easy on him." I glared at Neal but he wasn't fazed by it. "Not everything's trash." He said taking the drawings that I meant to throw away.

I watch him head into the garage and look at the road that Jacob took. I sighed getting up and head toward the forest. A part of me is excited at the prospect of seeing Emmett the other is afraid of getting more involved with everyone here.


	11. Phase 11

I walked into the forest and passed the treaty line. Truth be told, I was scared. Ever since the word liability escaped Paul's mouth it got to me that I was afraid someone would die because of me. It's a good thing I try and shut people out, although it hasn't been working in my favor lately. I sniffed the air and looked around making sure I was alone. After stripping out of my clothes and tying them to my ankle I shifted and ran, the pain lasting a few seconds. Apparently the more you shift the less it hurts, but I don't shift that often. Mainly because I don't want Sam to try and control me, although I don't think it's possible after everything that's happened. However, better safe than sorry. I caught the scent of Jacob and a rank, deadly scent as I came close to where the house should be. My nose hairs started to burn causing me to shake my head. I snorted and slowed down as I saw Jacob and one of the vampires.

"It's killing her, right? She's dying." Jacob asked Edward. I watched as the monologue continued. They were completely absorbed in their conversation they didn't sense me watching them. I sat in an alert position just in case.

"My fault," Edward responded as his knees caved under him. He crumpled to the ground looking vulnerable. I stood up and watched Jacob carefully. If he was going to attack this guy now would be the time. I didn't want him to hate himself for hurting Bella by killing Edward. I stood there waiting for his attack but it never came. I could see as I looked at him that all the fire he had was gone. He really did love Bella.

"Yes," Edward groaned into the dirt, like he was confessing to the ground. "Yes, it's killing her." Wait, what's killing her?

"So why hasn't Carlisle done anything?" Jacob growled. "He's a doctor, right? Get it out of her."

"She won't let us."

"You know her well," Edward whispered. "How quickly you see... I didn't see. Not in time. She wouldn't talk to me on the way home, not really. I thought she was frightened – that would be natural. I thought she was angry with me for putting her through this, for endangering her life. Again. I never imagined what she was really thinking, what she was resolving. Not until my family met us at the airport and she ran right into Rosalie's arms. Rosalie's! And then I heard what Rosalie was thinking. I didn't understand until I heard that. Yet you understand after one second. . . ." Edward half-sighed, half-groaned.

"Just back up a second. She won't let you." Jacob replied. "Did you ever notice that she's exactly as strong as a normal hundred-and-ten pound human girl? How stupid are you vamps? Hold her down and knock her out with drugs."

"I wanted to," Edward whispered. "Carlisle would have...No. Not noble. Her bodyguard complicated things."

I stood there watching them trying to understand what the hell was inside Bella and vaguely trying to remember who the names they muttered belong to.

"Maybe," Edward said. Maybe what? This was getting rather irritating. "Rosalie doesn't look at it quite that way."

"So take the blonde out first. Your kind can be put back together, right? Turn her into a jigsaw and take care of Bella."

"Emmett and Esme are backing her up. Emmett would never let us... and Carlisle won't help me with Esme against it..." Edward said, his lips starting to mumble. I really do hate when people mumble.

"You should have left Bella with me."

"Yes."

It was a bit late for that, though. I sat down again but remained alert.

"We didn't know," Edward barely muttered that I almost missed it. "I never dreamed. There's never been anything like Bella and I before. How could we know that a human was able conceive a child with one of us – "

"When the human should get ripped to shreds in the process?" Jake asked. Now who's throwing the punches? Damn.

"Yes," Edward agreed. "They're out there, the sadistic ones, the incubus, the succubus. They exist. But the seduction is merely a prelude to the feast. No one survives" He shook his head like the idea revolted him.

"I didn't realize they had a special name for what you are," Jacob retorted with venom.

"Even you, Jacob Black, cannot hate me as much as I hate myself. Killing me now doesn't save her,"

"So what does?"

"Jacob, you have to do something for me."

"The hell I do, parasite!"

"For her?"

"I did everything I could to keep her away from you. Every single thing. It's too late."

"You know her, Jacob. You connect to her on a level that I don't even understand. You are part of her, and she is part of you. She won't listen to me, because she thinks I'm underestimating her. She thinks she's strong enough for this..." Edward looked as he was about to choke from lack of oxygen. "She might listen to you."

"Why would she?"

Edward lurched to his feet, his eyes burning brighter than before, wilder. I stood back up and started walking forward a bit more. "Maybe," Edward said. Damn, this conversation was giving me a headache. "I don't know. It feels like it." Edward shook his head. "I have to try to hide this in front of her, because stress makes her more ill. She can't keep anything down as it is. I have to be composed; I can't make it harder. But that doesn't matter now. She has to listen to you!"

"I can't tell her anything you haven't. What do you want me to do? Tell her she's stupid? She probably already knows that. Tell her she's going to die? I bet she knows that, too."

"You can offer her what she wants." Edward said. "I don't care about anything but keeping her alive, If it's a child she wants, she can have it. She can have half a dozen babies. Anything she wants." He paused for one beat. "She can have puppies, if that's what it takes. But not this way!" he hissed as I realized what the hell was happening, Bella was pregnant. "Not this thing that's sucking the life from her while I stand there helpless! Watching her sicken and waste away. Seeing it hurting her. You have to make her see reason, Jacob. She won't listen to me anymore. Rosalie's always there, feeding her insanity – encouraging her. Protecting her. No, protecting it Bella's life means nothing to her." Jacob stood there stunned. "Whichever. Whatever keeps her alive."

"That's the craziest thing you've said yet," Jacob mumbled.

"She loves you."

"Not enough."

"She's ready to die to have a child. Maybe she'd accept something less extreme."

"Don't you know her at all?"

"I know, I know. It's going to take a lot of convincing. That's why I need you. You know how she thinks. Make her see sense."

Jacob stood there transfixed, thinking of everything Edward was saying.

"Make Bella see sense? What universe do you live in?"

"At least try."

Jacob shook his head fast. "Where is this psycho crap coming from? Are you making this up as you go?"

"I've been thinking of nothing but ways to save her since I realized what she was planning to do. What she would die to do. But I didn't know how to contact you. I knew you wouldn't listen if I called. I would have come to find you soon, if you hadn't come today. But it's hard to leave her, even for a few minutes. Her condition... it changes so fast. The thing is... growing. Swiftly. I can't be away from her now."

"What is it?"

"None of us have any idea. But it is stronger than she is. Already. Help me stop it," Edward pleaded. "Help me stop this from happening."

"How? By offering my stud services?" Jacob replied. "You're really sick. She'll never listen to this."

"Try. There's nothing to lose now. How will it hurt?" Edward waited. "A little pain to save her? Is it such a high cost?"

"But it won't work."

"Maybe not. Maybe it will confuse her, though. Maybe she'll falter in her resolve. One moment of doubt is all I need."

"And then you pull the rug out from under the offer? 'Just kidding, Bella'?"

"If she wants a child, that's what she gets. I won't rescind." Jacob was looking at Edward like he was a mad man and granted he kind of looked like one at this moment. "Not now, Not yet. Right or wrong, it would destroy her, and you know it. No need to be hasty. If she won't listen to you, you'll get your chance. The moment Bella's heart stops beating, I will be begging for you to kill me."

"You won't have to beg long."

The hint of a worn smile tugged at the corner of Edward's mouth. "I'm very much counting on that."

"Then we have a deal."

Edward nodded and held out his hand. "We have a deal," he agreed.


	12. Phase 12

I watch as they enter the house. Not knowing what to do, I decide to stay and wait to see what happens. Bella's pregnant, Edward feels guilty, and Jacob is to convince her to live with him.

You're right Jacob, life sucks.

I watched as some vampires exited the house. That's when I saw him again. Damn, he's a vampire! I tried to think back to the day I first saw him. It was windy that day their scent was blowing away from me. That's probably show I didn't realize they were vampires. I couldn't look at him, but I couldn't look away either. The fur on my knuckles dissolved as I looked at my bare hands on the ground. I could barely breathe. I could sense that they saw me. I crawled back into a thicker shrub behind me hiding my face with my shoulder length curly black hair. I sat for what seemed hours but it was only mere seconds. My fingers trembled as I released the cord holding my clothes to my ankle and got dressed. For some reason, seeing him the third time around was even harder than the first two times. I wonder if it has anything to do with the whole imprint bond.

Just walk away. You can do it. Walk away.

However, like Lot's wife I looked back and it was as if I had been turned into a statue of salt, but it felt so sweet. His eyes were on me and mine were locked with his. Time stopped once again as I felt myself turn into a tub of Jell-o. My breathing hitched even more as I struggled for any air I could get. My throat was beginning to burn from lack of oxygen. I walk forward, slowly and cautiously. I stopped as I noticed that I'm setting myself up for disaster. All the emotions I kept at bay were about to burst forth because of this guy. I wanted him and yearned for him. As I stood there motionless, my eyes still trained on him I realized that none of my sketches did him justice. His lips are moving.

Concentrate, forget that you want to feel those beautiful lips and find out what he's saying.

"What are you doing here She-wolf?"

I look up trying to keep my eyes away from the one that has me under his spell. That's when I notice her walk out of the house with Edward. She's blonde, pale, and yet disturbingly beautiful. She's glaring at me fiercely as she makes her way to my imprint. Oh Shit. Can they all hear my thoughts? I thought it was just Edward. Damn me for not asking any questions and just taking the abridged version of why we're wolves and the pros and cons of both wolves and vampires. They seriously should have a class for this fantasy world...like Supernatural 101: Werewolves vs. Vampires. This is what I get for putting myself out there for Jacob. Wait...is this even an imprint? What did Leah say about it? My mind fumbled to the conversation from a few months ago. All she said was that it only takes seeing them one time for the whole imprinting to happen. So, what it's just love at first sight? That's stupid. I looked back up at him and realized that it didn't seem that stupid. When I looked at him he was the only one I saw and cared for. I wanted to be right next to him. The one to hold, comfort, and love him. If I could ask god anything, which I've never done before, it would be to let me have him. If I could sell my soul to the devil to ensure that I got him forever, I would.

I blinked my head and shook my head slightly. Focus.

I see him look at Edward so I too look at him. I notice that Edward is talking but I can't follow his lips they're moving too fast. He stops and looks at me.

"Sorry?" He says, slow enough so I can follow.

Damn it. If I could hear I wouldn't be scared shitless right now. There are way too many vampires and only one of me. I should have walked away when I had the chance. Although Dr. Cullen seems nice enough my instincts are telling me to be careful, now whether that's my wolf instinct or human instincts I don't know. One of them is yelling for me to run. Memories of when Sam and the pack beat me up flooded my mind. If they were to attack me would it be more or less painful?

I start to back away again keeping my eyes on the trees behind them. Edward motions with his arms to get my attention. I stop and look at him warily.

"We're not going to hurt you." He says as I look at him warily. "I'm the only one that can hear your thoughts." I feel a bit of relief at those words, but not much. I don't like the idea of anyone hearing my thoughts. "We didn't get to introduce ourselves last time. This is Jasper and his wife Alice." I look at the two on his left. I recognized Jasper from when I first came back. He was with Emmett when I almost became road kill. I look back at Edward and he continues slowly. "Over there is Carlisle and his wife Esme." I look toward the far right of the semi circle and they nod their hellos to me. I looked back at Edward who looked at me earnestly as I dreaded this next moment and he knew it too. "That's Emmett...and his wife Rosalie." I gasped as his words hit me. I didn't look at them, but I saw Emmett give a little wave and look at Edward in my peripheral.

My body felt a searing amount of pain, as if hell was right here and I was in the middle of the burning fire. I must have looked like a hellish sight because Edward was right in front of me hiding me away from the rest of his family. I looked up at him with tears stinging my eyes as I tried to breathe, but the ghastly smell didn't help and I started to shake. Edward took a couple steps back as Rosalie bared her teeth at me and the rest took a defensive stance. Carlisle, Esme, and Alice tried to calm the three down as Edward just looked at me. I looked past him and over his shoulder to see Emmett glaring at me coldly.

He hates me.

The pain consumed me as I looked at Edward.

"She's not feeling well. No Carlisle, its okay. I'll help her." Edward says as he looks back down at me. Remorse, tiredness, and agony are in his eyes. "Let's go."

He guides me back into the forest and sets me down on a log. All in less than five minutes I felt joy the joy of seeing Emmett again and the agony of leaving him again. Edward kneeled in front of me.

I watch as Edward turns and look at what he's looking at. The others are spread in the forest but Jake just left the house and bolted toward the Rez.

Go back to her.

Edward looks at me unsure of what he should do, but I push him back and he nods getting up to go back to Bella. I slump off the log and lay on the ground, letting the tears flow freely. I let myself give into the agony. My body writhes and coils into the fetal position. I cried like I haven't done since I was a child. I slammed my hands into the ground in front of my face letting the dirt fly on me. I kneeled forward letting the dirt soil me as I cried. I grabbed fistfuls of dirt and drenched myself in it as I looked toward the path of his house. The house I wish I could curse, the man I wish I could hate. I lay back down on the ground and wait for this pain to kill me because nothing has ever hurt me more than this.

* * *

><p>I felt the ground rumble and realize that it's nightfall. I could smell Seth and Jacob in the air. What an adventurous day this has been? I strip down before they see me and shift. I watch as they head back to the Cullen house. I sit still wondering if I should follow or go back to the Rez. Somehow I can't shake the feel of worry...as if something bad was stirring in the air. If that was the case my paws knew where they had to take me. It was hard as I stumbled countless times on my way there; nothing was registering. I hesitated as I saw Edward standing between Emmett and Jasper. Alice was at Jasper's side. I went to Jacob's left side standing in front of Emmett, but not looking at him. They all look at me.<p>

"They want to know what happened to you?" Edward says with eyes of sorrow.

Edward waited for a thought any thought, but there weren't any. I had become an empty shell.

"No, she didn't meet Sam's pack." I saw Edward mouth to Jacob.

"He more or less knows why you're here." Edward says giving the swiftest look at Emmett. "He wants to make sure you're okay with this seeing as how you never wanted to join the pack." Edward waited but nothing came to mind. "She is on your side."

"Jacob, would you mind switching forms?" Alice asked. "I want to know what's going on."

Jacob shook his head at the same time Edward answered.

"He needs to stay linked to Seth."

"Well, then would you be so kind as to tell me what's happening?"

"The pack thinks Bella's become a problem. They foresee potential danger from the... from what she's carrying. They feel it's their duty to remove that danger. Jacob and Seth disbanded from the pack to warn us. Lani is here to help. The rest are planning to attack tonight."

"How do we know we can trust her if she hasn't disbanded from Sam's pack?" Emmett sad coldly as he looked at me. I felt like ice when he looked at me and stepped a few paces back. Edward stands in front of him.

"She never joined; she's her own free spirit." Edward says giving me a little smile. For some reason I feel a little grateful for Edward right now, maybe he's not that annoying. Edward gives me a little smirk at that thought.

Then again maybe he is; Edward loses the smirk.

Jacob turned and looked at Alice. Her teeth were bared as she leaned away from Jacob. Emmett and Jasper exchanged a glance, their eyes ranged across the trees.

Seth and Jacob start running and I look at Edward. "Perimeter."

"Carlisle and Esme are on their way," Emmett said. "Twenty minutes, tops."

"We should take up a defensive position," Jasper said.

Edward nodded. "Let's get inside."

I sat erect on the porch as the rest of the Cullen's backed into the house, their eyes flickering everywhere. I realized that Leah was very much mistaken. Although I can't be commanded by Sam I also can't help protect anything I wish to protect. Sitting here, unable to hear anything, just proves Paul right. I am a liability.

I smell a awful smell and looked to my right to see Carlisle and Esme approaching the house. They slowed down their speed when they saw me. Edward was by my side in a flash, which scared me a bit. I'm amazed by how fast they are and a even more unsettled as Paul's words keep echoing in my mind.

I saw Edward wince a bit at the memory of that day. "It's okay, she's good." Edward told them. I watch as Carlisle and Esme pass me to get in the house.

* * *

><p>I was starting to feel restless as I sat out there. I felt a cold hand gently tap my shoulder. I sprang to my feet and bared my teeth at Esme. I didn't mean to, but I couldn't distinguish one rotten smell from the next. The only one that didn't smell of decay and death was Emmett. I had found that out when I wore his clothes. Emmett and Jasper were at her side in two seconds flat.<p>

"I just wanted to see if you wanted me to fix you something to eat." She looked earnest as she looked at me.

I relaxed and kept my eyes solely on her. I shook my head and started sniffing around to make sure all was good. I walked toward them and nudged her to get back inside. Once they were back inside I took my place on the porch and sat. I looked through a window and could see Jasper, Esme, and Emmett looking at me. I hung my head when I saw Emmett and slowly turned to look back ahead. At one Edward told me that Jacob wanted me and Seth to rest up. However, I remained there on the porch, alert and awake. Even if this was the only way in which I could help, I would do it till we are sure everyone's safe. I became numb once again. No thoughts entering my mind. At some points I wondered how Jacob, and Seth for that matter, were able to disband from the rest of the pack, especially with Sam 's Alpha voice.

* * *

><p>At dawn, The door behind me opened and I saw Carlisle. He glanced at me giving me a tired smile and looked up. I turned to see Jacob approaching. I moved so Jacob could get through. However, he stopped in front of me.<p>

"Lani, what happened? I mean I know I hate the fact of having to share thoughts with the pack, but I can't see anything from you. I know that Sam said you couldn't hear, but how is it that we can't see things from you?" He sighed knowing I wouldn't be able to answer even if I wanted to since I was in wolf form. "If you didn't meet up with the pack why are you...you look...messy." I huffed and stuck my nose up at him. "Leah is running the perimeter with Seth right now. She's a bit rough but she's on our side." Jacob said to Carlisle and I.

I understood her wanting to leave the pack. She needed to get away from her now unrequited love; whereas I felt the urge to protect mine.

"She stayed like that all night." Carlisle said as he looked at me. I remained seated there on the defense. They remained on the porch steps with me, but I couldn't follow their whole conversation. Something about chromosomes and the baby.

Edward came out followed by Rosalie. My heart throbbed as I saw the goddess that had the perfect god. Edward looked at me with sorrowful eyes at my thought. I turned away and sat even more erect. I tried to follow the conversation, but gave up. I sighed causing everyone to look at me, except Edward.

I'm going to bed, let them know. Please, don't tell about...

"It's better if you sleep here." Edward said, but gave a swift nod to me about the latter part.

"I can't imagine how tired you must be. Thank you for sitting guard the whole night. We have room; you're welcomed to stay inside." Carlisle added.

I started to hang my head down as only Edward would know why I was hesitating about staying inside, too close for comfort.

"Sam might attack you if you go back. We're the enemies now." Jacob said, then smiled a bit. "Although in his eyes you were never part of the group."

Story of my life.

Edward looked at me from the corner of his eyes. I walked tiredly into the woods and changed. When I reappeared they gasped at all the dirt on me. I looked at the dirt remembering the pain. Edward winced, as he saw that and looked like he needed some air.

Don't tell.

Edward tipped his head in acknowledgment as I followed them inside. I hesitated to walk past the front door. It was a bit freaky how everything looked so clean. I don't think I will ever get over that. Edward stopped and looked back at me.

"It's okay."

I followed them inside, dirt trailing behind me, to see who I assumed to be Bella lying on a narrow hospital bed in the center of the open space. Also, like a hospital, there were monitors strapped to her body and tubes stuck into her skin. The lights on the monitors flashed, but there was no sound. Esme was by our sides in an instant.

"Let me show you around." She said as she held out her hand. I glared at it, but when I looked at her I faltered. I looked at Jacob.

"She's not a real people person."

"Oh." Esme said putting her hand down.

I cocked my eyebrow at Jacob and a small smirk played on my lips.

"What?"

"She was thinking of how you referred to us as people instead of...something else" Edward replied in my stead.

"Are we going to do this or not?" Jacob asked giving me a quick glare.

I stood there awkwardly with Esme, as the others busied themselves around Bella. Carlisle came back with a pack of blood and that was enough for me to lose interest.

"Well, you ready for the tour?" She said with a cautious smile. I tried really hard not to dash this woman's hope. I nodded and gave her a small smile.

She showed me the kitchen and told me I could help myself to anything that I found in there. She probably would regret saying that since she had a lot of food and I was really hungry, but then again better I eat it than it go bad. We went upstairs and she pointed out everyone's room. I tried not to dwell too much on which one was Emmett's because that meant it was also Rosalie's. A numb feeling started to take over as tears pricked at my eyes. Esme stopped walking when she saw I wasn't moving. Jasper walked into the hallway cautiously followed by Emmett and Alice. I looked away and tried to focus on my breathing. I looked back and nodded at Esme telling her I was fine. As we finished, I noticed that Jasper stayed close by with a look of confusion as he watched me.

"Would you like to clean up? Here's a towel and you know where the washroom is. Or would you like to eat? I can make you something...or not. If you want to cook you can, I just thought that it's the least I could do since you waited on us." She looked at me and smiled nervously. She must really want to cook. I took out the notepad and pen in my coat.

Lani:  
>Both sound great.<p>

"So, you don't mind if I cook for you?" She asked surprised and happily. "What would you like? I have a bunch of recipes and Emeril is coming on soon, do you like the stuff he cooks? Do you want Italian, Latin, Asian..." I held my hands up and she stopped.

Lani:  
>If you talk too fast it's harder for me to understand. Food's food; cook whatever you feel like.<p>

She gave me a huge smile as she read the note and nodded. "I'll try to remember to talk slower."

I gave her an awkward smile and turned to the go to the washroom. I look at my reflection in the mirror and am shocked at what I see. It looks like I've lost a lot of weight since yesterday. My cheeks are swollen in and there's dirt all over me. Huge black bags encircle my eyes as my lips look dry and chapped. I hang my head realizing that Emmett saw me like this and how horrible I must look to him. The thought of Rosalie in all her vampire glory ached in my chest. As if my heart couldn't pound any louder from the pain, it did. So loud that I thought all of Seattle could hear the beating of my aching heart. I shake my head and look back at the mirror. So what? He's a vampire and I'm a wolf, it obviously wouldn't have worked out anyway. Plus, it's not like I know him,. He could be a real jerk for all I know. However, no matter how hard I tried to deny my imprint I couldn't.


	13. Phase 13

A mental battle is brewing in my mind as I bathe. I try to deny any pull towards Emmett but a chest pain vividly reminds me that he is my imprint. As I step out of the tub I notice fresh new clothes and a note on top of them.

Lani,

I brought you some fresh clothes. Don't worry, they're not his and I haven't told anybody. Your secret is safe with me. Although I do have a few questions. Jacob, also, feels like he should talk to you about the imprint seeing how he, Seth, and Leah all know about it.

Edward

Of course you do, who wouldn't? I change into the clothes he's given me and realize immediately that I wish they were Emmett's. The smell would be a lot more bearable as well as comforting. I curse myself for my last thought. I'm trying to deny the imprint not welcome him. I sniff the clothes long and hard making my nose hairs burn. I figure the sooner I get used to the smell the easier it will be. I walk downstairs to see Rosalie, Carlisle, Jacob, and Edward around Bella. She's looking a lot better, but where did everyone else go.

"Esme is in the kitchen and the others are outside." Edward said simply. Everyone turned to look at who Edward was talking to.

"Lani." Jacob said surveying me. "You look cleaner." Jacob says with a small smile. "Skinnier, though." He says a little confused.

I glare at him and look around. Edward hands me a pad and pen. I look at him questioningly. Why? Since you already know what I'm thinking?

"Out of respect." Edward says simply and tiredly.

Lani:  
>What do we do now?<p>

I give the pad to Jacob and he sits down on the couch. "I don't know; I guess play it by ear. Seth and Leah are still running the perimeter." He hands me the notepad. Edward looks at Jacob coldly but Jacob doesn't notice. "Lani..."

"Jacob, stop." Edward says as he sits next to Bella. Carlisle, Bella, and Rosalie just watch interested in the conversation.

"Edward, stay out of it." Jacob says angrily to Edward. He sighs and looks at me. "I don't..."

"Jacob, that's enough!" Edward said standing up.

Everyone, including me, looked at them in confusion.

"Edward, what's going on?" Bella asked. I noticed she had a little more color to her cheeks than before. Must be what she's drinking in her zippy cup.

Edward and Jacob kept glaring at each other until Edward turned toward the glass window. "Someone's breaching the line.

Jacob stood where Edward was and saw Seth and Leah run toward the house. They didn't stop but turned around and ran back to where they came from. Jacob ran outside, transformed, and followed where they went.

I was about to follow suit when Edward turned around abruptly.

"Sam's here." He said as he ran out the back door. Carlisle and I followed to see Jasper, Emmett, and Alice standing defensively in front of the house. Edward turns to me. "He will be here soon."

"Lani, I will try talking to him but if he doesn't listen I am going to protect my family by any means necessary, are you okay with that? Are you sure this is where you want to be?" Carlisle asks me as he takes the lead.

I think about Sam and how he desperately wants to protect his people. These people aren't much different; both want to protect the people they love. I look at Emmett; I have to protect him.

Maybe I can keep Sam from coming here, that way nobody dies.

"No." Edward tells me as he grabs my arm as I am about to pass him to head into the forest. "You can get hurt; you could die." Edward says to me looking at me intensely. "Sam is on a mission; he won't back down."

I shrug my shoulders and break free from his grasp.

It doesn't really matter does it? If it keeps you and your family safe and Sam and his people safe, does it really matter if I die in the process? Maybe it will get him to think twice before wanting to kill someone or thing?

I say remembering that none of us know what exactly is in Bella. I can see Emmett past Edward's shoulders. He's looking at me and my heart starts to beat faster. This is all I can do for him as I see Rosalie inside the house standing protectively in front of Bella. I look back at Edward knowing he already knows what I'm thinking and for the first time a bit happy that we can communicate together. He looks at me intensely but before he can say anything I run into the forest and phase

I ran around the perimeter as catch the scent of Jacob, Leah, and Seth, but not Sam's. I run back around trying to find him before he gets to the house. I pounded the earth with my paws harder trying to force myself to run faster around the Cullen's house. When, finally, I smelt something in the air. I stopped and looked at where the scent was coming from. My hair stood on end and I bared my teeth at Sam's wolf form.

He stood in front of me with a superior air as he bared his teeth at me. I stay where I stood and arched protectively in front of the path that would lead him to the Cullen's house. He barked and snapped as if trying to tell me to get out of the way. I snapped forward letting him know that I wouldn't. He growled and stood higher than me. For the first time, in a long time, I felt a little bit of fear. As if on cue I could fell the weight of me being pulled to the ground. Sam growled and I could see he was focused. I gasp as I realize he's trying to use his Alpha voice on me. I feel gravity is working against me as my paws sink to the ground harder. Anger that I have not known starts to rage within me. I belong to no one! I shout these words angrily in my head. The words of spoken at the campfire resurface in my mind. My Quileute ancestry rings in my head as I start to feel a power I had never known spark a fire within me.

The power of Ephraim Black coursed through my body, maybe even the power of my cousin Jacob as well, because the next thing I know is that I'm struggling to stand up. Images of my mother pass in my mind as I realize this is the strength that she had bestowed upon me. I feel like crying but instead I manage to get midway up. Sam growls as he see he's losing his control over me. I can tell he's trying use his Alpha voice on me, because I could feel the extra weight but the power of my great grandfather's chieftain blood was stronger. I am the granddaughter of a chieftain; I am the great granddaughter of Ephraim Black. My cousin Jacob is the rightful Alpha. The Blacks do not bow down to the Uley's. I say to myself with this new power rising within me. As if lighter than a feather I jump up and snap at him. I stood taller than he as he snarled at me.

He lunged forward but I clamped my jaw around his neck and swung him against a tree. He shook himself up and growled at me. He came lunging at me again, I tried to clamp down on his neck again but he instead he bites my torso. I try and wiggle out of his bite but he clamps down harder. I get up on my hind legs and fall on my back trying to get him to let go. He loosens his grip and I roll back on my feet. We glare at each other as we both get up on our hind legs and start swatting one another with our paws, when finally I see my chance. I swat him in the snout and before he recovers I grab his left hind leg with my mouth and throw him against a boulder. He struggles to get up as I take my defensive stance. He shakes his fur out and looks at me. It's different than before; he looks almost remorseful. He growls at me but back steps deeper into the forest. I watch until he is out of sight. I then sniff the air and wait till he scent is completely gone.

I run a perimeter one more time just in case and bump into Seth, Leah, and Jacob. Seth and Leah abruptly take off into the forest as Jacob nods his head toward the house. I slowly follow behind as we approach the house. The Cullen's, aside from Rosalie and Bella, are all outside. Esme hands us each a set of clothes. Jacob transforms and gets dressed right in front of them. Before I can get over the shock he turns to me angrily.

"Lani, what were you thinking?" Jacob asks.

"Jacob." Edward interrupts with a stern look on his face.

I look at him confused and then glare at Jacob for almost revealing what I don't want revealed.

"You have blood all over you." Edward says.

I see my reflection in the glass window and see my white fur tainted by stains of blood.

"May I?" Carlisle asks as he approaches me. I don't move as he inspects the fur. "You got bit but it's already healing. She'll be fine." He says moving away.

I look at Edward.

What happened?

"Sam had sent Jared and Paul to see if they could try and get, if not Jacob, Seth and Leah to come back to the pack. However, he also wanted to try and see if he could kill Bella with his little distraction." Edward answers but before he can say more Jacob cuts him off.

"I know you imprinted."

"Leave it alone." Edward says.

"Like hell I will." Jacob says glaring at Edward. "Look, you're in my pack now and I need to know where your loyalties lie if something should happen to Bella." Jacob said as everyone listened and took a defensive stance, ready to jump in if need be.

I jump behind a tree and get dressed. Coming out angrily I walk right up to Jacob. Esme hands me a notepad and a pen as I glare at Jacob.

Lani:  
>Are you ordering me? Are you going to be like Sam and use your power against me? Just because I'm not in Sam's pack doesn't mean I'll follow you blindly. I do not belong to anyone. My loyalty? I will protect this family, because he loves this family, because it's his family. If you're asking if I'll get in the way of you trying to avenge Bella's death at the cost of her turning into one of them or because of the fetus, than yes. If you're asking if I will avenge Bella's death with you if Sam gets through and kills her or her spawn than yes I will. I already made my choice that I would protect my imprint, because that's all I can do. I can't run away from it, because the pull is too great, but if you dare breathe a word of it to him I will track you, shoot you, stuff you, and mound you. No one has to know about this.<p>

"So you would fight against family? Your own flesh and blood?" Jacob said in response as everyone looks inquisitively at us trying to decipher what is going on. All except Edward that is.

Lani:  
>What do you know about me? What Uncle Billy tells you? You know nothing about me. If I have to fight you than yes, but only if I have to.<p>

"Lani, you can't just fight?" He says to me. "You're deaf, you can't hear our thoughts, we have know way of communicating with you. Everything is working against. You could have seriously gotten injured or worse." Jacob says as he approaches me, but Edward stands in his way. Emmett and Jasper move to stand in front of me and behind Edward. Jacob gets angrier at them. "This doesn't involve you." Jacob looks at me. "You're going to get someone killed. Go home!"

My heart stops when he says this. I shuffle back and see remorse in his face as he realizes what he said. Before he can say anything I lunge forward phasing and disappearing in the woods.

"That's enough." Edward replies. His eyes glaring at Jacob. "Jacob, if it wasn't for her who knows what would have happened. She fought because she wanted to protect us and Sam. She didn't want anyone to die."

"I know, but someone always dies when she's..." Jacob starts muttering earning a smack from Edward. Jacob transforms instantly as Alice and Emmett move in front of him and Jasper puts his hand on Edward's shoulder to restrain him. Carlisle comes in between them holding his hands up at the both of them.

"You know nothing of what she's had to endure! The fact that she was able to beat Sam just now, I wish you could see what I saw in her mind. For the first time, she had pride of who she is and where she comes from. She has this amazing strength and power that she just came to realize and you chastise her for caring. You yell at her for wanting to do something good. I wish you could see just how beautiful she really is." Edward says as he starts to calm down. "Her mind is still so pure despite everything that she has been through." Edward turns and starts to head back inside. Before entering he stops. "She had pride in you when she confronted Sam. In you Jacob, in your lineage, and in her mother. If you want to help don't be so hard on her."

Jacob looks down in his wolf form with remorse. Esme brings him another set of clothes as he phases and gets dressed.

"I should probably look for her." Jacob says remorseful to no one in particular.

"We'll look; it may be better that way." Esme says softly to him with a reassuring smile. Esme, Emmett, Jasper, and Alice head off to look for Lani as Jacob stands with regret before entering the house with Carlisle.


	14. Phase 14

My eyes open slowly as I start to wake up. Jacob's words echo in my head as I shake my fur and sit up. I realize that I'm not alone. I look at him as he stands at attention in front of me.

"I figure you could use the sleep." Jasper says as he hands me some clothes.

I walk behind a boulder and change. Jasper looks at me strangely. I grab a stick and write.

Lani:  
>What?<p>

Jasper looks at me oddly and shakes his head a bit. "It's just; it seems you lost more weight. Are you okay?"

Aside from feeling tired and weak at the moment I felt fine. I shrug and nod at him.

Lani:  
>How long have I been asleep?<p>

"Five hours." He answers. "Esme thought it was best if we tried to find you. Carlisle was worried that something might happen to you. Plus, Esme has food waiting for you."

Lani:  
>You found me. You can call off the search<br>hounds, but I'm not going back.

He scoffs. "Already did." He says still remaining in defense mode. I can tell he is wary of me. "I can relate."

I look at him skeptically with a raised eyebrow.

"When I found Alice we came to the Cullen's. I had to learn to become a 'vegetarian.'"

I looked at him confused.

"Instead of drinking human blood, we drink animal blood." I nodded slowly not knowing how I felt about this since I was in a sense an animal. "Don't worry." He smiles. "I won't be tempted to eat you. Your scent."

My scent? I look down at my clothes in horror and can't help but smell them...laundry detergent, fabric softener, and dead flesh. I cross my eyes as my nose hair stings at the latter of the three.

"Yeah, that's pretty much how bad your scent is to us." He said with a cocky smile. I stick my tongue out at him and notice that I'm smiling back. His smile fades as he continues on. "It was hard I'm not going to lie, trying to let people in, trusting them. I felt like I had done so much wrong that there wasn't a way that I could reform." He goes on to tell me of how he was turned and shows me the scars on his arms. My heart dropped when I saw that and I felt connected to him in a morbid way. "When I almost attacked Bella at her birthday party, I felt like that was it. I really am a monster that cannot be changed. However, Bella forgave me and my family never turned their backs on me. They were there to help me every step of the way." Jasper's eyes change from sadness to that of gratefulness as he seems to remember how they accepted him. "Edward really hoped that I would be the one to find you, any idea why?" He asked looking at me cautiously.

Lani:  
>I have an idea, but it's a long story,<br>too long to write on this ground.

Jasper nods as he reads what I write. "Maybe someday you'll tell me your story. You should know, though, that all of us at one time were human. The only difference between you and us, besides smell," He says with a sly smile, "is that you still have a beating hurt and we don't." He turns his back looking at the forest.

I feel nothing but gratitude at this moment. I'm grateful that Edward wanted Jasper to find me and grateful that Jasper can kind of relate to where I am coming from. I start fidgeting with my sleeves wondering if I should let him in; let him see me. Before I can come to a decision I see his hands reach out for mine. His cool touch meets my hot warmth as he puts his left hand over mine.

"Only when you're ready; we have time." He says with a reassuring smile as I give a slight nod turning my gaze to the ground. He gently tugs on my arm and when I look at him says, "We should probably head back. Race ya'?" He asks with a challenging look in his eyes.

I head toward the bushes and phase. I gather the clothes in my jaw and he reaches out when I come to where he is. Taking the clothes he says, "Need a head start?" I huff at the ground and look at him. "Go!"

We both shoot off but he has the lead. I push my paws harder on the ground to try and gain a little more air with each step I take and realize I'm starting to gain on him. I hesitate when I don't see him. I feel a tug on my tail as he passes me laughing. I jump up on the tree he bounces off and try to tackle him but barely miss him. Before I know it we come barreling into a clearing and realize we are at the house. I stop as he hands me the clothes. When I come out of the clearing Jacob is standing there waiting for me.

"Hey." He says to me uncrossing his arms.

I nod as he hands me a notepad and pen.

"Lani, I'm..." Jacob starts.

Lani:  
>I get it. You think I don't know why<br>Sam stopped pestering me to join  
>his little pack? I know that they<br>think of me as a liability. I know  
>that you think like I do, that<br>people around me die. However,  
>I have a debt to pay to Carlisle.<br>The good thing is that they  
>are a lot harder to kill, at least that's<br>the impression I'm getting from what I've seen  
>of these vampires.<p>

I hand the note to him and watch his facial expression as he reads it. "What about Emm..." He starts but I cover his mouth before he can finish saying his name. "What about your imprint?"

Lani:  
>I would be lying if I didn't say<br>that he is also why I'm here.  
>Jacob, be glad that you didn't<br>imprint on Bella. You lucked out  
>even though it may not seem that way<br>to you right now.

He nods. "Lani, I don't want you to die. I don't want anyone to die." Jacob says looking at me sincerely. "I know it wasn't your fault that mom died but..."

Lani:  
>I told you I get it. I have been<br>thinking of nothing else when Leah told me.  
>I would feel the same way, but<br>know this your mom was an amazing mom.  
>I always wished she had been my mom<br>because she was the only thing I knew  
>of a mom. I don't remember much of your<br>mom but I do know that I loved her as  
>I would have my own mother had I had<br>the chance to have known her. I know  
>I haven't been the best cousin in<br>the world not then and not now,  
>but do know that I do care for you.<p>

When Jacob finished reading the note he looked at me with tear prickling his eyes. "You too good for a hug from your own cousin?" He asked with a little smile.

Lani:  
>I guess it's one that's long overdue.<br>I'll let it slide this time.

"I would have hugged you anyways." He said as he grabbed my arms and pulled me toward him. Enveloped in his arms I felt a bit of peace for the pain I had caused him or felt that I had caused him. I stiffen as I see Emmett come out with a cocky smile and arms crossed.

"Awww, a family moment."

Jacob lets go as he looks at Emmett with an annoyed yet playful smile. At the same time Esme came up from behind and smacked his head playfully.

"Emmett Cullen, you know better." She said warningly but lovingly at the same time. She looked at me with a smile. "Food's ready."

We followed her inside as Jacob sat next to Bella and I followed her to the kitchen. Jasper and Alice were there as we entered.

"I had started making a breakfast meal, but when..." She looked uncomfortable not knowing how to proceed. I nod as in understanding. "When Jasper called to let us know he found you I thought maybe you would want lunch food, but seeing how it's going to be dinner time soon do you want me to prepare a dinner cuisine?" Esme asked smiling.

I looked at all the food before me and shook my head no. There were pancakes, French toast, crepes, sausages, scrambled eggs, hash browns, sandwiches of different types, egg salad, fruit salad, hot dogs, hamburgers, and French fries. I looked at her a bit perplexed.

"You gave me a reason to use the kitchen." She said with a bright smile.

I nod as she hands me a plate. I start filling it with a lot of breakfast food. I feel my stomach grumble and knew that they heard it, even if I couldn't. She gets another plate and starts to fill it with the lunch cuisine. I smile bashfully at her as I sit down on a high chair at the counter.

"Do you think the others might want some?" She asks.

Lani:  
>You're better off asking Jacob.<br>I don't know where they are or what  
>they are doing. He'll be able to reach them.<p>

She nods as she heads to where Jacob is. At the same time Emmett enters.

"Damn, hungry much?" He asks looking at me cockily.

I try to focus on my food and not his hot smile or the way his eyes twinkle as he laughs at his own joke. Jasper comes closer to me and I raise my eyebrow. He shakes his head as if it's nothing.

"So, what can you do?" Emmett asks inquisitively. "Do you phase and that's it?"

I nod trying to remain focused on the food. He's married, he's married. The pain hits me as I try to force myself to eat even though now I don't feel like it. Edward walks in and looks at me briefly. I notice Jasper is looking at me and turn to look at him.

"Are you okay?" He asks.

I raise my eyebrow at him and look at Alice.

"He can feel everything you're feeling." Alice says as she continues to watch me eat.

"I'm getting a lot of..." I glare at him causing him to stop mid-sentence. "I can make you feel better." He says and immediately I feel light as a feather. Warm and happy and all previous tension has left. I shake my head and look at him. He stops as I shake my head no.

Lani:  
>I'm already trying to deal with everything<br>that's going on. I don't think I need  
>more supernatural help at the<br>moment, but thanks.

He nods as Alice follows Esme and Edward back to Bella. Although I have taken a long nap I can't help but still feel tired and exhausted. I wonder if it's due to the imprint, but that would be stupid. I shake my head dismissing the last thought as Jasper raises his eyebrow at me.

"So, what's an imprint?" Emmett asks taking out a piece of paper. He unfolds it and I notice it's the one from earlier. My heart plummets as I look at him cursing my deafness and the fact that no one knows sign language. "Who is _he?" _

I don't look at him but write a note and hand it to Jasper.

Lani:  
>Do you think you can teach me?<p>

Jasper reads the note and gives me a confused look.

Lani:  
>You trained newborns; do you think<br>you can teach me how to fight? The  
>point is that I don't want to be a<br>liability. You don't have to spare  
>my feelings or anything, just tell me<br>straight up. If you don't think I can do  
>it you can stop training me.<p>

Emmet sees the note as Jasper thought for a moment. "This could be fun." He says with a smirk as he looks at me with challenging eyes. His eyebrow rises questioningly at me. "Are you okay? Your heart sounds like it's going to beat out of your chest." I blush never noticing that they could hear that; dread fills me.

Jasper taps me with a confused look and all of a sudden I feel calm as I look at him. He nods as if saying is this okay? I smile back at him gratefully.

"I only taught wolves once." I nodded and couldn't help but hang my head a bit. "You have to understand that although you _are _helping us, natural instinct tells me we're enemies." Jasper stopped a moment to see if I understood. I looked back and nodded. "It'_s_ not impossible, but you would have to be twice as vigilant on the battlefield. Since you can't hear, you would have to constantly shift around to make sure there's no one behind you or coming at you from any angle. The good news is that we stink, at least to you." I couldn't help but smile a little as he said it so easily with a little smile. "This means you would have to be aware of the different scents around you. For instance, you and Jacob have different scents. All in all it's a wet-dog smell, but when you focus in a bit more there's a difference between the two scents. It's going to take a lot of work."

Lani:  
>It's not like I have anywhere else to be.<br>Plus, it would probably come in handy right now.

"We'll try, but maybe tomorrow." He said as my eyes started to get heavy.

"Hell yes!" Emmett said clapping his hands in anticipation for tomorrow.

"You were up for a long time last night. You should sleep some more." Jasper continued.

"Yeah, you're going to need it if you're going to try and take us on." Emmett says laughing as he leaves but stops holding up the piece of paper. "But don't think I will forget about this. Edward won't say anything about it but I have ways of making you talk." He says staring at me with a sly smile.

I blush again and try to glare at him. I don't know if it works but he just laughs and leaves. I look at Jasper and then back down. I nod to myself that I need to get more sleep and not think about stupid Emmett right now. My head felt so heavy from lack of sleep that I almost passed out on the table. Luckily Jasper moved the empty plates and caught my head before it could hit the table. I scribbled on the pad barely able to hold the pen up.

Lani:  
>Sorry.<p>

He nodded and before I could protest he picked me up as I tried to fight the sleep that was suddenly upon me.


End file.
